I'm bisexual, nobody knows and he's threatening to tell!

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I'm bisexual, nobody knows and he's threatening to tell!

Dear Diana,
I am 19 years old and bisexual. Two years ago, I met a guy online and he claimed to be 24 though he looked 27. We chatted for a few months and he proved to be a really nice friend. I was just getting out of a broken relationship and he proved to be a shoulder to cry on. We decided to meet the first time, we spoke and later, he molested me. I later gave in and we grow very close and met many times. He gifted me goodies which I accepted. Later on, through common friends, I found out that I wasn't his only target. He had other playmates at around the same age as I was. I started moving away from him and began patching up with my ex. He realised that I knew about his game and he started using all the information he gathered about me against me. Heu00a0 called up my ex, contacted all my friends through Orkut and started telling on me. My parents don't know about my sexual orientation. He threatened to tell my dadand would send threatening messages at odd hours. He stopped for a while but has begun it again. I cannot tell my parents. I met him at age 15 and he still harasses me mentally. I have no other option but to continue to let him torture me.

Illustration/Sameer Pawar

Name withheld on request

Dear Friend,
This guy sounds like bad news and I seriously think that you should take your parents into confidence and tell them pronto. Better to get shouted at, receive a verbal lashing than being mental tortured at the hands of this sadist. In anycase, why would you give him all your contact details. Without a doubt it was the most foolish thing to do. The least you can do now is to tell your parents about this guy and how he's destroying your peace of mind. You need a support system and if you don't get that from your own family and friends, you'll go crazy. You don't deserve this. It shouldn't matter what your sexual orientations are.

Not sure what I feel for her

Dear Diana,
I'm 22 and made friends with a girl quite recently. Another friend of mine told me that I was talking too much about her these days. I felt like she was only joking because I treat all my friends that way but then i suddenly thought what she was right. I tried to get close to that girl but every time we met there was this awkwardness in me towards her like thinking of her that way. so I don't know how to proceed and am not even sure of my feelings for her in the first place.

Confused Romantic

Dear Friend,
Meet her again. Get to know her well. Gauge her feelings toward you or if there is scope for a relationship in the future. Just thinking about her in a particular way without making your feelings known will only lead to more awkward situations. Speak to her and get to know what she likes and dislikes. Call her, ask after her, show her you care... that sort of thing. Don't take her for granted or you'll end up losing her. Of course, being unsure of your own feelings puts you back at square one. Tread carefully.

My folks don't know about my boyfriend

Dear Diana,
I'm 23 and work in an MNC. I'm in a relationship with a very caring, responsible guy for two years now. We belong to different religions. His family members are known to me and they accept our relationship. They are not so rich as we are. My boyfriend works with a call-center. My parents are also looking out for a guy for me as they are not aware of him. My friends have advised me against pursuing this relationship. My father would never agree. I ask my guy to support me and he says if I am happy with him, I'd have to leave my parents for him. What to do?

Simran

Dear Simran,
Well then, you should have told your parents about your guy if you haven't already. Your being from a different religion than your boyfriend's might pose a problem for your parents and they might not consent to a marriage or a relaitonship. Moreover, you have to be sure that this is what you want in life. If you take your boyfriend's side now, they may never help you out in the future. In a way, you'll be taking a leap of faith for this guy but he sounds like a genuine person, but staying with his family would be a whole different world. Think things out very carefully.