21 June,2010 07:36 AM IST | | Diana
Dear Diana,
I am a 19 year old, good-looking girl who is studying as well as working. I am already engaged and my fiance loves me a lot.
At the same time, he is very possessive when I talk to any of my colleagues oru00a0 friends. He always fights with me and that hurts me a lot. I am scared for my future.
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There's also this one guy from office who loves me a lot and wants me to go out with him.
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My mom likes my fiance a lot as he is an innocent chap but when he is possessive, I just hate him. I'm already engaged and don't know how to handle this situation. I'm at a loss!
Simmy
Dear Simmy,
You know your mind. I'm guessing you can confidently list and then weigh the pros and cons of being with either one of the guys.
Innocence cannot be the sole criteria for judging a guy's character. If he fights with you nowu00a0 because of his insecurity, there's now saying how he could react once you're married.
If he's possessive now, he could treat you like a possession once you're wed. That being said, sit him down and explain your fears and concerns to him.
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If he sees reason, fine. Or else, make a tough choice. Also, don't complicate things for now by going out with the otherguy. It's simply not worth the trouble.
Single but scared to mingle!
Dear Diana,
I am 23 years old. I am single and need a girlfriend but am afraid to approach anyone.
Name withheld
Dear Friend,
Dude, fear of meeting new people will get you nowhere.
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If you don't go out and meet people or at least start a conversation, you'll never have a girlfriend. Conversations play a big part in punctuating one long sentence: relationships.
My fiancee is giving me lessons in intimacy
Dear Diana,
I am 28 while my fiancee is 24. We are due to get married in a couple of months. We are in touch over the phone daily over our future plans.
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During one such conversaition, my fiancee was the first to pick out the topic on intimacy.
She told me that on our first night, I should not use au00a0 condom and that she'd rather have unprotected sex with me. She says it gives her more pleasure and we both should make it a memorable night.
I am just confused that a girl is expressing so much of her desires wherein boys sometimes feel embarrassed to express such things.
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She also speaks about oral sex and how it should be done to please her. She goes into in-depth details. Acknowledge her feelings and desires or ask her to keep her feelings under control? Kindly guide me.u00a0
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TA
Dear Friend,
Okay. So you were taken unawares. This came as an unexpected surprise to you. If your fiancee is that outspoken about her preferences in bed, she might just be a little too honest with you, making you quite uncomfortable about it all.
And if she knows what she's talking about (her giving you lessons), it can't be all bad, right? How bad can it be, if she wants to make sure that it is a perfect night of passion for the two of you? Don't be confused.
If it does freak you out that much, please tell her that it does and that you would much appreciate it if she toned down on the details a bit.
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Of course, doing that would make you come across as something of a wuss and a prude for not being able to take it in the right vein but if you're more comfortable in that position, I think you should make that clear to your fiancee.
