My abusive husband has changed, should I leave him?

Dear Diana,
Yesterday, I met my husband to sign our divorce papers. We've been separated for 3 months. I left our marriage because of verbal/emotional abuse and it had got physical with him grabbing me. It's been a terrible time for me but I've stayed true to my decision to leave.
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Beforeu00a0 signing the papers, he was still being forceful and demanding and saying that we didn't have a bad marriage and that I could've stayed to work it out if I really loved him. After signing the papers, we talked for about an hour, and it was one of the best conversations we've ever had in many months.
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He told me he still loves me, apologised for all he had done, and finally said he'd be there for me if I ever needed him. He ended by saying that if I want to try it again he is open to that. The warm, caring person that I married was surfacing again.

We were together for a total of seven years (married for two). Was all that niceness just to tug at my heart? Could he have really been sincere? Should I return these signed documents to my attorney and proceed forward? Are we moving too fast?

BT
Dear BT,
I'd say that you are on the right track. This is typical of abusive men they hurt you and then they are attentive, apologetic and want another chance with you. But chances are, he will just hurt you all over again.
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If I were you, I'd keep chatting with him to a minimum, get the divorce (be sure to get what's owed to you/your rightful share maybe he wants to get back together with you for financial reasons?), and if he is really sincere, he'll still want you back five years from now.
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In the meantime, take good care of yourself, seek counselling with a professional to boost that self-esteem and create a good life for yourself. Been there and done that it's possible to move on to better things!

I love my girl, but I ended our relationship

Dear Diana,
I love my girl. She always says how happy she is and that she wants to marry me, but I never told her I want to marry her too.
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Recently, I checked her laptop, then accused her of talking to other men, and ended our two-year-old relationship. What's happening to me?

Naren
Dear Naren,
I think that you do love her, but the thought of marriage is driving you bananas. Maybe you're just not ready for marriage.

If you really love her then it is okay to let her know that you will be with her, but you are not thinking about marriage. If you want her back, go and get her.

My fiance stares at other women...

Dear Diana,
My fiance has a really bad habit of staring at women. Even if he hears a woman's voice on TV, he starts checking her out. I'm average looking, and so is he.
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Can you tell me what is going on with him? We are engaged and I'm thinking of calling it off. He was dating someone when I met him but I didn't know about that until a month into the relationship.
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I am feeling lost and don't want to end up with a guy who I cannot trust. Are these just nerves or should I be worried?

Dhruvi
Dear Dhruvi,
I think you'll find that most men stare at other women but as long as it is window shopping and he doesn't buy, he's not cheating.

Don'tu00a0call the marriage off, but postpone things if you want to. Does he know how much this worries and bothers you? If not, then tell him.

If all else fails, then you should try doing that very thing to him. Just do it once out of the blue and once the shoe is on the other foot, he should feel completely different. No, it is not disrespectful, but you have to give respect in order to get it.

Don't become his doormat and let him think that treating you this way is fine. Men's eyes will wander and there is nothing we can do about that, but he should at least not do so when you are with him.