My fiance wants to control when I will give birth

Dear Diana,

I am 24, and will be getting married this December. My fianc ufffd and I decided tou00a0 wait until our wedding night to have sex. Recently, we've been doing a lot of talking about the wedding and honeymoon and he said he doesn't believe in any form of birth control, which took me totally by surprise.

In all the years we've been together, he's never mentioned this. I am totally against this. I want to have his children one day, but only after a year or two.

Usually, if we disagree on things, we talk about it and we figure out a solution but this beingu00a0 a sensitive topic, I don't even know how to broach it. I am afraid this could be a deal breaker. The only option is I get on birth control and not tell him (but I really hate being dishonest). What do you think?

JK

Dear JK,

It's really strange that you guys haven't discussed something as important as birth control until now. Your boyfriend has no right to dictate whether or not you use birth control. I would say, it's your body, your choice.u00a0 Perhaps he doesn't want to use a condom. That is his choice.

However, this doesn't mean that you can't use an alternative method. I agree, marriage is a big change, and having a baby in the first year itself isn't advisable. One method he might suggest is the pull-out method. Please don't be fooled by this. You need to tell him how you feel. In my opinion this is a deal breaker.

If he cannot understand where you are coming from, and how you feel about the issue, then he is not the man for you. Regardless of the proximity of the wedding,u00a0 talk this over with him andu00a0 reach a mutually agreeable decision. If you want to stay with him, then use birth control secretly, though lies in a relationship are not healthy.

Embarrassed about my (over) weight...

Dear Diana,

I weigh 81 kilos and I am 5 feet 4 inches tall. I feel horrible about my body. I have bad body issues. I'm too embarrassed to talk about it to anyone close to me. Especially my boyfriend as he doesn''t understand. Please don't tell me I am the right size, because that doesn't make me feel any better. I need advice on how I can feel good and confident about myself.

Vipula

Dear Vipula,

Apart from your body, how do you feel about yourself? Do you like yourself, and think of yourself as a good person? Oru00a0 do you define yourself by how you look? Separate your body from your personality and think of all the good things about yourself. Do things which you enjoy and make you happy. Sometimes we tie up our identity and our sense of self-worth with how we look, when really it shouldn't be that important.u00a0

Nicotine out, acne in!

Dear Diana,

I have recently quit smoking, and I amu00a0 chewing nicotine gum. I am suffering from major break-outs! I know this is part of my body cleaning itself out of all the toxins, but can you tell me how long this will last? And also is there any thing to reduce or even stop it? I have been walking outdoors for an hour everyday to sweat out the toxins. If I go more often, will it help clean my skin quicker?

Shravan

Dear Shravan,

Your acne breakouts are probably unrelated to your quitting cigarettes, but may be partly due to your hormones or from using a new product, like sun screen or face cream that you could be sensitive to. Wash your face with a gentle soap every time you come in from working out or sweating. Cleanse your skinu00a0 before going to bed. If things don't improve see a dermatologist for prescription antibiotics and gels for the condition.