30 July,2010 07:01 AM IST | | Dear Diana
Dear Diana,
I am 19, and have been dating my boyfriend for 8 months, which is substantial when young. It is his birthday next week. I wanted to do something special and so spent weeks making a scrapbook for him. I printed out lots of photos of us together, as well as us with our friends.
There are cutesy couple-y stuff like quotes, memories and inside jokes. My mom knows what I am making for him and wants to see it before I give it to him. She is also asking questions like how personal it is and can he show it to other people etc.
It's personal and I don't want my mom or anyone else to see it. Friends maybe, although some would laugh at me. I would show it to her except that I know she will only put me down and ruin this for me. I put so much time, energy and thought into this, I don't want anyone to spoil it for me. What should I do?
Sonam
Dear Sonam,
I know that every teenager thinks of a parent as an enemy, but your mom is just looking out for you. She just wants to make sure there are no questionable pictures that might come to haunt you when you're older. She is trying to protect you.
I'd set her mind at ease if I were you. You obviously put a lot of love and care into that scrapbook, and it is quite clearly very personal. If you don't want her to see it, don't show it to her. I suggest you make a deal, and just let her go through the picture files.
But explain to her that some things are "personal" and that in future you would like her to trust your judgment on this. Assure her that you will not put out anything that will embarrass you in the future. You have to show her that you are sensible enough to understand the repercussions of your actions, and that you will always act sensibly.u00a0
I think you need to sit down and have a long talk with your mum about this. Make her understand that though she's your mum and you love her, there have to be boundaries.
I think my dad is cheating on my mom...
Dear Diana,
I am a teenager. My parents have been married for 20 years. I recently found text messages on his mobile and now am convinced he is having an affair. I can't stand the thought of my family been torn apart. What should I do?
Vinod
Dear Vinod,
What were the texts really about? Sometimes people who have been in long relationships or marriages flirt with other people online or through texts.
That could be all this is. If you want, talk to your dad about the texts and about how you are feeling. That will make you feel better.
What is cybersex and how do I get it?
Dear Diana,
I am a 23 year old guy living in a small town. I come from a very conservative family and I will have an arranged marriage next year.
I have never been with a girl. The other day I heard some of my friends talking about cyber sex!
Everyone talks about cybersex...what does it do? What's the point? How do you do it? Can you please help me? I really need it.u00a0
Mahavir
Dear Mahavir,
Cybersex is basically like phone sex with a keyboard rather than a telephone receiver. It'su00a0 having a sexual (or textual) conversation with a person on the internet, maybe looking at sexual pictures or watching each other on a webcam with a stranger.
The good thing is you don't get a sexually transmitted disease and you can change partners every night or several times in one night. It's where people go when they cannot get something real. Also, you could be talking to a man, while you think you're getting dirty with a woman.
Or worse, it could be a minor, which will get you into a lot of trouble. Be careful and don't get addicted. In some cases, it has also led to a divorce.
