01 July,2010 10:31 AM IST | | Diana
Dear Diana,
I am a 37-year-old man. I love a woman who is 33. We both have our respective families. I have proposed to her many times but she always tells me that she thinks of me as a friend. We talk to each other at least three to four times a day. She gives me the whole day's details because she thinks I am suspicious about her. I have followed her quite a number of times but never found anything suspicious about her.
She is from a rich family. Increasingly, I feel she treats me asu00a0pastime. I have tried convincing her that I genuinely love her and am not after sex. All I want is a good companion. Earlier she used to meet me at least once a week. Now we only meet once a month. Recently, she told me that she speaks to me because I force her to and that she is not interested in me. I have already spent 10 months pursuing her. What should I do now?
Prasad
Dear Prasad,
You've proposed to her many times and she's always turned it down. It's pretty clear that she doesn't see you as anything more as a friend. One reason she possible doesn't want to get involved with you is your suspicious nature. You proudly admit that she gives you minute details about how she spent her day, and you follow her around! What woman would want to be with guy like that?
She must've figured friendship would be safer. That way she doesn't owe you any explanation. In all probability she stopped meeting you after finding out you have been stalking her. That would scare off any woman. No wonder she doesn't want to see you anymore. I don't think you can save the situation now. It's too late. But there is a lesson here for you. Don't repeat the same mistakes in your next relationship. Don't waste anymore time with this lady. She doesn't seem interested and you can invest your time in a new person.
She has three boyfriends
Dear Diana,
I am a TYBSC student. I am worried about my friend who hardly pays attention to studies. She is spoilt and has three boyfriends simultaneously. And she whiles her time away with the guys. She says she loves all three of them. I hate this attitude and have stopped talking to her. I want her to come out of this.
Rucha
Dear Rucha,
It's good that you are concerned about your friend but is not talking to her really helping the problem? Instead of adopting an accusational or a disapproving tone, try telling her that you are concerned that she isn't giving too much attention to her studies. Remind her why this year is so crucial. And advise her that to take a break from her men till her exams. That might also help her decide which guy she is serious about.
Kissed an older woman at a party
Dear Diana,
I was at a office party recently. We'd gone away for a weekend on the cruise. I got very drunk one night and kissed an older woman. She was one of the passengers, not from my company. I can't really remember how it started but I know that I would've never done a thing like that while being sober. I am feeling really guilty and ashamed about what I did. I want to confess to my girlfriend. I don't want to hide this from her but don't know how to tell her. Please help.
ABC
Dear Friend,
It makes sense to tell your girlfriend. As many of your colleagues witnessed it, chances are it will out. And it's best she hears about it from you. Catch her in a quiet moment and say that you want to tell her about something serious, that's been bothering you.
Tell her you are feeling guilty and ashamed. Then say it, just as you have here. Be sure that you let her know that it was a single, one-off incident, and that you barely remember it and that you won't ever do such a thing again.
There's a very good chance that she'll be angry with you for abusing her trust, but will eventually forgive you. You'll probably have to work to regain her trust, but that's "wages of sin", as it were. You can't get around that.
