06 April,2009 11:21 AM IST | | Diana
Why the hell is he being a dog in the manger?
Dear Diana,
I was in a relationship for three years. I committed my life to him and had no doubt he loved me a lot. But he'd never go against his parents. His parents won't accept me because out horoscopes don't match. I fought with everybody and went to all possible extremes. We broke off. Six months later, we met and I wanted to be friends with him for a lifetime. I ended up hearing abusive language and negative things from him. Because of that, I hate him and want to move on but he is not letting me by reminding me of all time we spent together. But I don't see a future with him as his last acts hurt me to my very soul. I want to see myself well-settled and happily married to a guy who'll love me like his life. My ex was missing from my life when I needed him the most...... now when I'm doing so why is he creating hassles for me?
Illustration/Sameer Pawar
Name withheld on request
Dear Friend,
Horoscopes don't make marriages work. Married people do. That said, there are ups and downs in every marriage. It's absurd that someone you've loved as dearly won't fight to be with you as much as you'd fight to be with him. I guess that means you love him completely and passionately as opposed to him. He shouldn't have abused you verbally and hurt you that way. You're right in deciding not to go back to him and I feel you shouldn't succumb to his emotional blackmail. Fight hard because a loser like him doesn't deserve you. He never supported you when you needed him most. He's never going to understand your point of view. Face it, he's being a dog in the manger!
Propose karunga toh dosti khatam?
Dear Diana,
I have a friend I am in love with but I am afraid to propose to her. I think she might get irritated and break her friendship with me. She is a year elder than me. Presently, I am doing my graduation, and doing a part-time job. Does age and moolah matter to her? I don't want to lose a friendu00a0
Praveen
Dear Praveen,
You haven't even mentioned to her that you like her and you're already counting your chickens before they're hatched. I doubt age would pose a problem. Money matters a lot to some people and might be a deciding factor while getting into new relationships. Of course, if you never ask, you'll never know. Ask her, and don't worry too much about the 'consequences' of your actions. There's always someone else to fall in love with.
Dear Diana,
I am 19, my boyfriend is 27. I loved him since Std 8. I've now completed my third year. We've been together four years but he got married recently. After he got married, I tried to forget him but couldn't. I recently got a call from him saying he wanted to continue the relationship. I love him more than life itself. What should I do?
Kunz
Dear Kunz,
Not only is what you're proposing to do inappropriate, it is also harmful to your own self-respect and dignity. In his case, having an extra-marital affair may not be a big deal, but it should matter to you. How would you like it if people started blaming you for the affair, or say that you initiated the affair because you couldn't let go? You might love him more than life itself, but that has to change. Somehow. Having an affairu00a0 will destroy you completely
