Mumbai: Self-taught ventriloquist brings stand-up comedy act to city tonight

Seema Golchha performs with (from left) Jack Denials; Dennis Saur; and Granny, an old soul with a funny bone. PICS COURTESY/SEEMA GOLCHHA on Instagram

A ventriloquist, a freelance marriage officiant and a housewife walk into a bar. Lucky for the bartender, they're all the same person, and they're only there for the stage. Seema Golchha, a 52-year-old Mumbai-born comedian, picked up her first puppets in her 40s to entertain children in her family. After shifting base beyond Indian borders and globe-trotting with her fleet of talking puppets, she's rolling up her sleeves for a comeback in the city tomorrow.

"I had no plans to become a ventriloquist when I married into a joint family. After moving to Nepal, I used sock puppets one day to put the five or six kids in my family to bed. They loved it; so did I," Golchha recalls. Her first public show in 2011 was no child's play. A 70-member-strong audience had their eyes glued to the stage. "I was petrified. ‘What on earth was a housewife doing on stage?' I thought to myself. But the jokes landed well and I realised this was my calling," she reveals.

In all fairness, we think some credit is due to Jack Denials, the furry blue puppet with a bit of an attitude problem, who took stage with Golchha. "I've always had to choose my words mindfully at home. But I had an outspoken side to me. Through Jack, I say all the things that you'd never catch me saying out loud," she laughs. Jack might be a snob, a motormouth, a brat; but certainly not a fairweather friend. Nearly 14 years after their first rodeo, he'll join Golchha once again on stage tomorrow.

Seema Golchha (right) officiates a wedding with her puppet, Granny

Over the years, watching and learning from ventriloquism legends like Jeff Dunham and Ramdas Padhye, Golchha has crafted some lovable characters. They were so adored, that a Dutch-Norwegian expat couple in Nepal once invited them to their wedding. "I was shocked when the groom-to-be asked me if my puppet, Granny, would officiate their wedding. The couple had no family in the country and found Granny to be a comforting presence. Sure enough, Granny pronounced them man and wife on their big day," Golchha chuckles.

In what sounds like one of our worst fears coming true, Golchha believes the puppets have a life and consciousness of their own. "What I write and what the puppets actually say on stage are often poles apart. It's almost like they're sentient beings," she says, adding, "They improvise, cover up for me, and sometimes even surprise me." At the risk of getting told off by a silly blue puppet, we ask to speak to Jack to substantiate these tall claims.

Hi, Jack. How have you been?" we ask. "Never begin a conversation with ‘Hi, Jack' if you're on a plane. You might get thrown out," he quips. "You're a man of many words. But I'm sure you struggle with certain pronunciations," we try to get even. "The F word. But Seema says it all the time," Jack outs his master. The puppet is a sharp character. We suggest he parts ways to pursue a solo career. "Ssshhh... It's on my checklist," he whispers. "But you can't exist without me!" Seema interjects. "And you, without me," comes the retort. We seem to have hit a nerve. Hopefully, the duo sorts it out. They have a show to put on tonight.

ON May 23; 7 pm
AT Broadway Blues, Todi Mills Compound, Lower Parel.
LOG ON TO in.bookmyshow.com
ENTRY Rs 499