As Nick Jonas reveals how he DMed Priyanka Chopra, here's how you can be smooth at messaging

Priyanka Chopra and Nick Jonas at the Academy Awards afterparty. Pic courtesy/@priyanka chopra

As romantic as a handwritten letter arriving days late with slightly smudged ink may seem, times have changed. In an era where relationships often begin with a notification rather than a chance encounter, a well-timed direct message can spark a conversation, or end it before it begins. The recent resurfacing of Nick Jonas' decade-old first message to Priyanka Chopra has reignited conversations about what makes a good first move and how to navigate online dating safely.

Shaila Colaco

With the Internet abuzz, Mumbai-based psychologist and relationship counsellor Shaila Colaco tells us why the message worked; how to approach someone respectfully online, the red flags to watch out for and the precautions to take before moving a digital connection offline.

Colaco says, "Don't overthink it; reaching out first doesn't need to be clever or cheesy. It needs to be respectful, straightforward and genuine. Build rapport gradually, verify who you're speaking to, and don't mistake someone's online presence for reality. The strongest connections begin with honest communication, not assumptions."

"Nick and Priyanka already knew of each other professionally, making the conversation far less intrusive than a message from a complete stranger. The message had a clear purpose. There were no exaggerated compliments, no pick-up lines, and nothing that would make the other person uncomfortable; it showed confidence without crossing boundaries," she adds.

Before the meet-up

Parents should have conversations with their teenage children to help them stay safe

Moving from DMs to real life should happen gradually and ideally a few video calls to verify that the person is who they claim to be. Colaco also urges people not to mistake attention for affection. Choose a busy public place, such as a café or restaurant and avoid hotel rooms, Airbnbs, or isolated locations. Parents, she adds, should remain involved in young people, especially teenagers' online lives, as they are particularly vulnerable to grooming, scams and coercion.

How to respectfully slide into DMs

Nick Jonas' first DM to Priyanka Chopra. Pic courtesy/@heyjonaspodcast

If you use social media often, chances are you've slid into someone's DMs or had someone slide into yours. Remember an A-grade profile or follower count does not determine how you approach someone. Here are a few things to note before you hit send.

Do's

>> Introduce yourself with purpose and mention what prompted you to reach out
>> Build trust gradually before exchanging phone numbers or personal details
>> Verify their identity through a few video calls before meeting in person
>> Observe their online behaviour, including posts, interactions and the following list

Dont's

>> Make the mistake of assuming a polished profile as reality; social media rarely tells the full story
>> Ignore inconsistencies in their stories, behaviour or profile
>> Share sensitive personal information before trust has been established
>> Rush into an in-person meeting without taking time to get to know them

TIP: If you're too shy, a funny meme or reel can be a good conversation starter.

Get it right

The best way to slide into someone's DMs is to be respectful, genuine and confident. Representation pics/istock

The Red Flags

>> Asking for your number too quickly
>> Sudden sexual innuendos in the first few conversations
>> Sending unsolicited intimate photographs, suggestive content or cliché late-night messages
>> Being vague or inconsistent about personal details
>> Belittling your profession, appearance or where you live
>> A noticeable change in tone when you refuse or avoid answering a question

The Green Flags

>> Introduces themselves honestly and explains why they reached out
>> Shows patience, allowing trust to develop before taking the next step
>> Encourages transparency and has no hesitation in verifying their identity