LOBO Lobo came to my house, totally frazzled.
u201c Okay Lobo Lobo, have a cup of tea, and tell me why you look like a character out of a Hitchcock movie.u201d u201c Wot wot all to tell to you Dikuna men! Wot a last week itu2019s been men, oh fo!u201d u201c Start at the very beginning, itu2019s a very good place to start.u201d u201c See men, my building Popatlal Co- operative Housing Society, itu2019s a big society men, made up of six different- different buildings, but has one committee, 300 flats total menu2026u201d u201c Lobo Lobo, please get to the point.u201d u201c Sorry men. See, we are having General Elections, and I thought I would stand for de post of Chairman, chhe men!u201d u201c Post of Chairman, isnu2019t that the highest office?u201d u201c Yes men, now dat I am retired, I have all de time in de world to dedicate myself to de upkeep of my buildlingu2026 my family has lived dere for tirty years, I know de insides and outsides.u201d u201c So itu2019s all sounding rosy, whatu2019s the problem?u201d u201c Arre wot rosy men, all roses have torns. And all dose torns live in Popatlal Coop Housing Society!u201d u201c Want to please explain?u201d u201c Dere are dese two demons men, residents Champaklal Dossa and Jeevan Jyoti Gaur. Dey want to u2018 take overu2019 de building.
Dey are trying every vicious trick to undermine me men. Dese u2018 haramisu2019 are attacking me on Twitter men. Dossau2019s son, real u2018 namoonau2019 called Rocky, goes by de name u2018 Proud Desiu2019 on Twitter, is saying all nasty tings men for de world to readu2014 he posted today, dat I u2018 kabjaoedu2019 money from de sinking fund! Itu2019s amazing how quickly, everyting turns to hate. My u2018 padosiu2019 men, Ratnakar Ramsay, bleddy meets me in de lift and says u2018 Eh maka pao, go back to your countryu201d. Wot to tell de fool, dat I hail from blinking Bassein only, my parents are East Indian men.u201d u201c Sorry to hear all this Theo.u201d u201c Dereu2019s more. You know dat Kejriwal chappie in Delhi, who gave away freebies to get votes... Wot is wrong? Itu2019s a nice gesture, right? So, when I retired from my cable company, dey had limited u2018 doshu2019 to give me for my pension and udder benefits, dey gave me some free digital set top boxes instead.u201d u201c This story has a point yes, Lobo Lobo?u201d u201c I gave away all dese set- top boxes to de residents, free, men.
My opponents are saying on social media dat dis u2018 Gaddaaru2019 stole from his ex company and is distributing to de tenants to u2018 buyu2019 votesu2026 oooof... wot wot tings peepul are saying about me, insulting my Myrtle and my daughter Cinderella.u201d Lobo Lobo went silent, clearly out of his depth. Then he said, wistfully.
u201c Dere is so much anger in peepulu2026 wot happened to dat earlier, sense of bonhomie, men Dikuna... weu2019ve become so rude, easily offended, so touchy... our first response to anyting is negative, hatred is de ting, chhe!u201d u201c Anyway, Lobo Lobo, a belated Happy V Day.u201d u201c I tink V Day stands for Vicious Day, Dikuna men!,u201d Lobo Lobo concluded.
Rahul daCunha is an adman, theatre director/ playwright, photographer and traveller.
Reach him at rahul. dacunha @ mid- day. com zara hatke Rahul daCunha Illustration/ Uday Mohite
