Life less ordinary

Parents of B-town actors talk about life at home and their relationship with their star child

Parents of B-town actors talk about life at home and their relationship with their star child

Glamour... flashbulbs... spotlight. They get their share of news space because of their children's profession being a Bollywood celebrity. But not so long ago, life was ordinary. Celebrity parents recall how life has changed, or not, ever since their children attained stardom

Joyce Polycarp with daughters Amrita and Malaika

Change is the only constant

Malaika Arora Khan and Amrita Arora's mother Joyce Polycarp: "I don't think life has changed much. I continue doing stuff I used to do before my daughters entered the film industry. Earlier, I was working in an office, today I help out whenever they need me. Otherwise I am a 100 per cent housewife. I don't have 10,000 cooks to help me. There are no trappings of Bollywood in my house."

Shilpa and Shamita Shetty's mother Sunanda: "I ran a business and now I run my daughter's business. Isn't that what parents do for their children or family?u00a0

Sunanda Shetty with daughters Shilpa and Shamita

Prachi Desai's mother Amita: "My husband still works in Valsad as a law college professor. I was with my daughters at Panchgani, where they were schooling. I worked as a teacher there. When Prachi got a break in TV, I had to leave my job to be with her. Our lifestyle has changed. Earlier, I had to do think before spending money. Not so anymore. Though even today, we only have a part-time maid because I don't want the girls to get spoilt."u00a0

Amita Desai with daughter Prachi

John Abraham's mother Phiroza Irani: "My sons, John and Alan, love my cooking. And I still cook for them. Life is the same. It's the people around you who change. But isn't that a part of life?"

Asin's father Joseph Thottumkal: "I relocated to Mumbai a year and a half ago to be closer to my daughter. I really don't want to talk much about myself because I don't want any share of my daughter's hard-earned fame. As far as lifestyle changes are concerned, there is none. Stardom is actually attributed by others."u00a0

Joseph Thottumkal with daughter Asin

Bipasha Basu's father H K Basu: "I shifted from Kolkata to Mumbai a couple of years ago to be near my daughter. Bipasha made sure that we were comfortable. Though I have little needs and expenses, certain things have changed. Not that we didn't enjoy a relaxed life earlier. We had a car, driver and the holidays. What has changed is that perhaps our holidays earlier were to Srinagar at a five-star. Now it's America or Europe. Our lifestyle has been upgraded a little. I remember recently I mentioned taking a holiday and Bipasha arranged for an international trip. She did it on her own."u00a0

H K Basu with daughter Bipasha and his other two daughters

The pitfalls

Amita Desai: "Our native place is Surat and after Prachi became an actor, we went there on a visit. When we reached out house, a mob gathered. People even barged inside saying 'Bani se milna hai' (Prachi's character in Kasamh Se). It was disturbing. Now, we rarely go there anymore."

Phiroza Abraham: "Today, I can contribute better for my social cause. But one comes across all kinds of people. Just the other day, a lady came up to me and said she had no money to pay her rent. I didn't know if she was speaking the truth or not."

Sunanda Shetty: "I did miss out on being with my younger daughter because I had to accompany my elder daughter on outdoor shoots. But her father stepped in for her. We come from an orthodox community. When my dad went through a financial crisis, I had to step out to work in an office because I was the eldest of the three girls. Even then, that had created a huge ripple. It was the same with my daughters us against the world. But today, no one says anything."

Joseph Thottumkal: "I don't feel like we belong here. The only reason I belong here is because of my child. I actually don't like films. Everything is so transitory. It's fake."

H K Basu: "I wanted Bipasha to take up medicine. But she fainted during a frog dissection practical in college. I didn't know that Bipasha wanted to model. Her mother and she actually kept it a secret from me. Eventually I came to know. I was confused. I worried if my child would be able to cope up with the industry. I had heard that it was cutthroat and wondered if she would be forced to do things. But John (Abraham) too quit his media planner career to join films. Now I feel happy that Bipasha pursued her dreams. I have no regrets."

Changing time

Phiroza Abraham: "When my son was joining the industry, I asked him if he was sure about what he was doing. Job security was important to us like any other middle-class family. And you know, these days whenever I am introduced to people as John's mother, I correct the person and say John is my son. After all, I was born before him."u00a0

Phiroza and Abraham John

H K Basu: "My daughter hasn't changed a bit. My relatives and friends are in awe of her now. Earlier they would say, 'come to our house'. Now they ask, 'Baba, if we call her will she come to our place, I have to tell them that she is still the same girl. Though, I must admit, earlier I was known as H K Basu, MD of my company. Now everyone knows me as Bipasha's dad. My identity has got killed to some extent."

Affectionate shouting

Sunanda Shetty: "My husband and I are more of friends to our daughters, but there are limitations to giving parental advice."

Phiroza Abraham: "I continue to nag John all the time. My husband says stop nagging the boys, that I shouldn't overdo certain things. I am the stricter one. John's dad never says anything to the boys. For a mother, her children never grow up."

H K Basu: "I don't believe in telling my daughter what to do anymore. Her life is hers and we don't want to control it. She takes her own decisions and I can offer advice if she asks for it. But we don't force her to do anything. It's also because I respect her a lot. She worked her way up without any support or godfather. She is also very forceful in her decisions a quality that I discovered after she became a celebrity. For us, she was a just our adorable, fatty girl."

Amita Desai: "I do shout at Prachi sometimes and then tell myself not to lose my cool. But Prachi listens to me. I counsel her all the time by reading out newspaper stories and telling her it's not safe to go out alone. Prachi understands how much distance she needs to keep from people. She often seeks my advice on what to do."

Joseph Thottumkal: "I feel my daughter, who is now 23, should be free to lead her life and take decisions.

That's why my wife and I moved out to live separately but in the vicinity of our only child's house. She is a grown up individual no?"