The Chaddis That Are Pink

Sunday MiD DAY's Anti-Critic Sorabh Pant is turning pink in the chaddis over the pink chaddi issue

Violent-Times Day Ispecial
Holding hands? How dare you? Why can't you lustful hippies use your hands for something better: wave a flag of political degradation, vandalise a greeting card shop run by an old man on pension or use those perverted hands to molest people who cross your moral boundary. That's the true essence of this festival of joyful hate Violent-Times Day, rated by the Anti - Critic.

The Chaddis That Are Pink
Rating: V.I. 1/2 P out of V.I.P.
If you told me that someone would not only bring my favorite dream of 'loose' women+panties to the public eye, but use said dream to make a moralistic stand point, I would have slapped you in the eye with the elastic of my boxers. But, it's happened and me standing here with a loose pair of boxers couldn't be happier with the effort.
However, I doubt it is going to work, because of the target audience of this mountain of underthings. Because, I doubt the receivers of this silken river of pink i.e. the Sene(sless) ones have ever seen said pink chaddis (or chaddis of any sort).
These chaddis end consumer (pun very much intended) shall confuse said garments for a) a weak slingshot, b) ammunition for petro-bombs or c) nifty head gear (with holes for their giant ears, that can listen to the smallest sound of totalitarian politics from a mile away). Confusion may ensue.
Though actually, their confusion might serve a greater purpose. I think we'd all forgo three Amul Fruit & Nuts and an Archies card to see a bunch of angry extremists wearing pink chaddis on their head, hurling pink chaddi fuelled petro-bombs with badly aimed pink chaddi sling shots, that land on their own head. Ah, love.

Muthalik's Marital Motions
Rating: 1 Fera out of 7 Ferasu00a0
The cuddly as an extremist Valentine bear, Pramod Muthalik's decree to marry off couples seen together on Valentine's Day in Bengaluru may have been a threat. But, the threat of a bee's sting is also an opportunity for honey (if you can catch that damn bee). Here's how you can honey this threatu2026
n Cheap Wedding Alert! Drag your partner to to Bengaluru, find your unfriendly neighborhood Ram Sen(s)e(less) acivist and proceed to make out with partner. No more wedding hassles for you, it's all paid for by the Sene. Escape to nearby police station to launch FIR and celebrate honeymoon.
n Convince a celebrity to come to Bengaluru. I recommend Katrina Kaif or Koel Puri (she looks fit enough to protect me if things go out of hand), and using the above technique, get yourself married to your favorite celebrity, courtesy the Sene(tors) of forced marital bliss.
n Find Mr. Muthalik, grab his hand. Congratulations, by the rules set by the Sene, you shall now be married to the wonderful Mr M. You'll never need to buy your own trishul again.
If you missed the opportunity this year, don't worry this year's love may pass but twisted political agenda will last till next year. Book your air tickets (and heart balloons) today.