It’s time for non-cooperation

We women need to now show non-cooperation to men, in any small or big way we can. REPRESENTATION PIC/Istock

When I was thinking about what to write this Friday, I knew it had to be about the feminist movement sweeping India right now. After the gangrape in Delhi last week, young women everywhere are rightly enraged. This time, it's not just about the rapists - it's about every man who has ever made them feel small, short-changed, unsafe, or unworthy. The slogans are beautiful. Mere sir main dard hai, uska karan mard hai, Galli galli mein shor hai, mard jaat chor hai, Ek sutta, do chai, mard jaat haay haay - in humour we find the truth.

For me, it's been about how can men - who keep chanting "not all men", "not me" - feel the consequences? How can men who treat women as punching bags feel the burn? How can men, who go around feeling like the world owes them something, feel the pinch?

I feel that's where Mahatma Gandhi's teachings may come handy. Today is October 2, Gandhiji's birthday, and it could be a good day to launch a nationwide non-cooperation movement.

The Non-Cooperation Movement was a nationwide peaceful protest launched by Mahatma Gandhi on August 1, 1920, to challenge British rule. The key causes of that were the massacre at Jallianwala Bagh in 1919, the passing of the Rowlatt Act that allowed the British to imprision Indians without trial, and Khilafat movement, where Hindus and Muslims showed unity to protests against World War I.

The non-cooperation methods were - Indians stopped buying British goods, gave up government titles, and pulled their children out of government schools. Many resigned from government jobs, and left British courts. They also started using khadi.

Like the brave Indians who helped us get independence, we women need to now show non-cooperation to men, in any small or big way we can.

Let me give you some examples (these could be extreme):

Stop cooking, cleaning, washing, packing lunch. Let the CEOs figure it out themselves.
Stop understanding the reasons behind their outbursts, their anger (mostly aimed at you), or their bad behaviour.
Stop asking them how their day was. Stop oversharing about yours as well.
Stop planning vacation, birthdays or anniversaries.
Stop helping them when they have girlfriend issues. Say, "try harder".
Stop being motherly, or sisterly, or wifely. We all are adults.
Stop trying to make them comfortable or regulated. Let them find a paid therapist.
Stop being available at all times. Your favourite excuse should be "I am busy with work", or "I fell asleep as soon as I reached home".
Don't multitask so that they can monotask.

As one of my male friends said to me today, "Do only as much as you get". I would say, "Do less, till what they do is equal to all you have already done".

Now many people will say, what about the men who are good to us, the men who love us. I would say, think deep. Even the men who love us take many things about us for granted, and we keep our mouths shut just because, "Oh they are good to us". It's time all that we do gets much more in return - 500 per cent, nothing less.

This applies to all spaces of life - be it at home, work, on the commute (don't move out of the way and take up space), at parties, on flights, while dating, on the road, while buying vegetables - don't cooperate. Just be as bindaas, and as expansive as you can be. What is manspreading? Normalise womanspreading.

It's time we decide to not cooperate in any which way, so that men, all men, feel the discomfort of living in a world where the woman doesn't really care about what happens to them anymore.
Because, it's clear, you don't care about us, and now, we are done trying to make it work. It's time for non-cooperation.

See you next week.

Ranting and raving about all that's trending on social media, Aastha Atray Banan is an author, creator, podcaster, and the Editor of your favourite weekend read, Sunday mid-day. She posts at @aasthaatray on Instagram.
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The views expressed in this column are the individual's and don't represent those of the paper.