The Ambanis have brought us cheap footwear. They've cut rates with their telecom service that doesn't work half the time
The Ambanis have brought us cheap footwear. They've cut rates with their telecom service that doesn't work half the time. They sell "trendy" clothes that unravel faster than Nita's botox. And just when you thought their middle name was "tacky" they go and invest in the Oberoi.
Granted Mukesh bhai got a little mixed up between suites and those of the sugary ilk. And sure, they've also brought in brands like Diesel to shore up their tawdry image. But allowing shiny polyester suits of into the refined precincts of the Oberoi boardrooms is just a little too proletarian.
The Ambanis, they claim, are not going to get too involved in the management, but chances are, "suggestions" from the horse's mouth won't be taken lightly.
The Oberoi, Bangalore, for example, may have to change the name of Szechwan Court, its Chinese restaurant.
You can't have the co-owner of the hotel walk in and fumble with the name as he takes guests for dinner, now can you? "Chejwan Korte" can hardly not merit a snigger from even the oh-so-polite Oberoi staffers.
The Ambani matriarch will swan into the Mumbai hotel, walk into the Italian restaurant that boasts Michelin star chefs, and request "farsaan" for starters. Sure, they aren't going to be happy, but chances are "farsaan a la dente" might just be added on to the leather bound menus. And the hotel will stand by, watching in dismay, as half of the Bombay Stock Exchange comes along to flex their financial muscle by paying two thousand bucks for a nibble of thepla ufffd just because they can afford it ufffd and because the Oberoi has just turned into the "it" place to flaunt one's newly minted crassness.
The Oberois, meanwhile, have been setting up in places as far flung as Bali and the Maldives. What! Did they really overlook Jamnagar, that hub of tourist and cultural activity? Well, that oversight has just been rectified.
Guests at the upcoming Oberoi Jamvilas can book their suites, choosing from panoramic views of propylene plants or postcard-like sunset silhouettes of cracker furnaces.
Fortunately the Ambanis now have "We Are Family" constantly playing in loop. Or in the old spirit of cut-throat competition when they were not agreeing on things as basic as gas prices and dhokla chutneys, it would've been just a short while before Tina arm-twisted Anil into buying up large swathes of the Taj.u00a0
And then, instead of sipping an espresso martini at the Blue Bar, we would be fighting for aam ras at the newly christened ADAG adda.u00a0
