Why am I watching this? Diving into how more people are consuming gore and violence online

Mouli Chakraborty engages in true crime content and footage to understand the crime. “Watching crime footage helps me grasp the seriousness of it.” Pic/Ashish Raje

She was just 12 when she stumbled upon a video of a girl being burnt alive. The flames licked at the girl's body as she screamed and ran in agony - the camera held steady, unflinching. That moment changed something in her. Now a recent graduate, Neha Gupta (name changed) finds herself drawn to graphic real-life content online - from brutal CCTV footage to actual decapitations. And she's not alone. Across Telegram channels, Instagram reels, and Reddit threads, people are either seeking or stumbling upon unfiltered violence, often without a single warning. In a world saturated with dread, what does it mean to keep choosing horror?

For Gupta, the fascination with violent content is a paradox - she fears it, yet returns to it again and again. Even though she began consuming such content to analyse the psychology behind the actions, it soon turned out to be her guilty pleasure. "It's a love-hate thing," she admits. "I get scared, but there's also this rush of adrenaline." What began as a deep dive into true crime documentaries evolved into stumbling upon gore accounts on Instagram and graphic CCTV footage. "Sometimes I block them. Then I go back looking for them." The fear isn't fictional but tethered to reality. "I live alone in a PG," she adds. "When I watch these videos, I empathise with the victims in a strange way. It keeps me grounded to the fact that anyone can fall prey to brutality."

Sapna Bhavnani, a horror writer and filmmaker, says that violence and gore are intrinsic to human nature, making them unavoidable themes in storytelling. Pic/Sapna Bhavnani

Mouli Chakraborty, on the other hand, watches for understanding. "What I seek is different from what I come across," she says. "I want to know why it happened, who's involved, and whether someone fought back." For her, violence is not just visual noise - it's narrative. The context is crucial. "Watching crime footage helps me grasp the seriousness of it. I often look up crime scene photos after watching a documentary to see how accurately it was portrayed, and of course, out of curiosity."

But with exposure comes numbness. Both Gupta and Chakraborty speak of how the shock wears off over time. "Now I see violent content every two to three weeks," Chakraborty says. "It doesn't hit the same any more. Two years ago, it used to mess with my mind. Now it's just… there." Gupta agrees. "I used to read about crimes first - that helped me get desensitised before watching anything. But the line between horror and curiosity blurred quickly." A large part of this exposure isn't intentional. "It just appears on your social media feed," Chakraborty says. "Some videos don't even start off as violent - they escalate halfway in." Gupta calls it "a loop I can't break out of." Algorithms pick up on past engagement, feeding users more of what made them pause or click. And during bouts of mindless scrolling, people are often caught off-guard. "Doomscrolling turns into shockscrolling," Chakraborty adds. It begs the question if they ever really had a choice in a digital environment where extreme content can pop up without context nor consent.

For horror filmmaker Sapna Bhavnani, the line between cruelty and storytelling is thin, and intentional. Violence and gore are seen as intrinsic to human nature, making them unavoidable themes in storytelling. "Humans are the most cruel species. Of course, we'll depict that in horror," she says. Fiction, for her, is a space of freedom, not moral policing. Bhavnani sees fiction as a realm of creative freedom where difficult subjects can be explored without judgment or censorship. "If violence fits the world you've built, it should be there. Fiction lets your imagination run wild."

But real violence hits differently. Gupta, who watches both horror films and gore accounts, makes a sharp distinction. "Movies don't scare me - they're fake. But real crimes? They terrify me because they can and do happen." Chakraborty echoes a similar sentiment. Documentaries satisfy her innate curiosity, offering the whole picture and the consequences of it. Real footage, though, can be overwhelming. "My first instinct is to exit. It'll mess with my mind if I stay." However, once she prepares herself mentally, she always goes back to it. "I'd say that because it's visual, it narrates what happened in a more powerful way. While I'm doing it, I don't feel happy - I'm often questioning myself. But overall, it feels cathartic."

This growing tolerance might be a defence mechanism, but also a way to process the chaos of real violence. Each disturbing image becomes becomes a piece of a larger puzzle - a way to confront brutality while seeking meaning. So where do we draw the line? Are we growing numb to violence, or trying to make sense of it? This desensitisation to violence might point fingers towards the darker realities of human nature without losing yourself to it.

‘Stricter content moderation could help reduce the psychological harm'

Sharine Jacob, a clinical psychologist and psychotherapist

Jacob explains that people who have unresolved trauma may exhibit morbid curiosity. However, the way morbid curiosity manifests can vary significantly. "The type of trauma plays a role. For instance, a survivor of sexual assault is unlikely to consume content depicting similar violence. The form of morbid curiosity - if it appears - often differs based on the nature of the trauma." The emotional response to real-life violence tends to be far more intense than reactions to fictional content. "Real events elicit stronger visceral reactions because they carry an undeniable truth and threat," Jacob continues.

"Consuming violent or extreme content can become addictive - in a manner similar to social media. The longer the exposure, the deeper the addiction can become." Recognising its addictive nature, Jacob presses on the need for regulation around how much violent content is accessible on mainstream platforms such as OTT services. Stricter content moderation could help reduce the psychological harm.

OTT and the ascent of the crime documentary

Pic/Instagram@netflix.in

In India, true crime docuseries have enjoyed sustained popularity. Netflix told us that The Hunt for Veerappan and The Indrani Mukerjea Story trended locally for six weeks each. House of Secrets: Burari Deaths trended worldwide for one week. This highlights a strong regional appetite for true crime rooted in the Indian context; the more morbid, the better. Meanwhile, platforms like Reddit, where one can find insurmountable gore and real-life violence, enforce strict rules against violent content without context, banning posts that glorify or incite violence to maintain a safer online environment, illustrating the ongoing tension between morbid curiosity and responsible content moderation.