Dr Love with Mid-Day: I like my girlfriend’s friend more...

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I think I have developed romantic feelings for my girlfriend's new friend, and I don't know what to do about it. My girlfriend and I have been together for a year, and we have had some problems because we don't have too much in common. She introduced me to her friend a few weeks ago and we just hit it off instantly. It feels like this is someone I have been waiting for my whole life and I can't get her out of my mind. I don't know what to do or say because telling her how I feel is impossible. If I end this relationship, I am pretty sure my girlfriend will tell her friend not to speak to me again. It feels like I am in an impossible situation because this is someone I want to be with and will probably never manage to. How do I deal with what I'm feeling?
If your current relationship isn't working, you should be honest about that and speak to your girlfriend because you owe it to her and to yourself. To be in a relationship that isn't real or genuine is unfair to you both, irrespective of your feelings for someone else. You don't know much about her friend and have no idea how she will react to your declaration of feelings, but you can change your situation by accepting that your current relationship isn't working. There are three adults here, and all of you have the right to choose what you think is good for you. Assuming the worst-possible scenario doesn't make sense because you don't know what the future is like. Start from a place of honesty, tell your girlfriend that you aren't committed to this relationship anymore, and speak to her friend about your feelings only when you have had time to move on. Asking her out isn't right if you aren't single, and she needs to get to know you before you talk about your feelings for her. Give it time and some space.

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