Dr Love with Mid-Day: How can I get him all to myself?

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I am madly in love with a guy but so are a few of my friends. I want him for myself but don't know what to do because it feels like we are all competing. On the one hand, I see how this makes me sound like a shallow person. On the other, I know my friends will do anything they can to go on a date with him and get into a relationship. What can I do without coming off as too needy or desperate?
For a start, you can think of this person as an individual with a mind of his own, because dating someone and getting into a relationship depends entirely upon whether two people want that to happen. Your friends and you are all allowed to ask him out and see if he accepts these invitations, but nothing can get another person to be with you if they don't want to and aren't interested in who you are. Try and find out more about this guy, his likes and dislikes, and consider the possibility that you may have different views. If he agrees to go out, be authentic and respectful, and allow this to happen in its own time. Relationships are about people and can't be rushed or manipulated. It is only when you feel something for the other person that you stand a chance of building something real. It may also give you an advantage over anyone else who isn't being honest with this guy.

My girlfriend is tough all the time and this also makes her unreasonable. How can I get her to see this and change her behaviour?
You can tell her how you feel and hope for the best or take the time to see where she's coming from and find out more about why you think she is unreasonable. Examine your motives and your own perspective and ask yourself what drew you to her in the first place. Also, if something bothers you, learn to talk about it more.

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