Dr Love with Mid-Day: I am frustrated in this relationship!

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I'm bored and frustrated with my relationship and can't think of a way out. We have been together for three years and nothing seems to evolve. It's the same arguments, the same things to do on weekends, and a feeling that this is a comfortable place just because we know each other so well. When we began dating, there was excitement and we really wanted to spend time with each other. Now, it feels like we do it just because we're so used to each other. I don't want to commit to a lifetime of this, but it feels as if that is what will happen because our families and friends will expect us to marry at some point. What should I do?
If you aren't discussing this with your partner, you are doing this relationship a disservice because no one should make a life-altering decision if they aren't happy or comfortable with it. Relationships change in various ways over time, and it's normal for the initial excitement to fade away. In a healthy relationship, this is replaced with a different kind of understanding and comfort, but it requires both people to put in a bit of effort. Try and articulate what you find boring and what you would like to change. Ask your partner to do this too and evaluate your individual expectations. If they don't match, talk about what can and should be done. Giving up is easy, but it's more rewarding to fix something that isn't broken because it will change the way you see each other.

Can I have a good relationship with someone who always lies to me?
That may depend upon the nature of the lying, why it occurs, and what you are comfortable with. Honesty is critical for any relationship, so there may come a point where you aren't okay with this. You alone can define what that point is, based on how you feel. If someone claims to love and respect you, ask yourself why the need to lie arises.

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