Dr Love with Mid-Day: I am unable to figure him out...

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I am a 24-year-old woman and I really like this guy a lot, but I often get the sense that he doesn't care either way if I am in his life or not. We are not in a relationship, but we have been on a few dates, and I don't know if this will go anywhere because of his attitude. I still want to be with him but, at the same time, I won't ask him how he feels until I get a sense that this is mutual. If he is just meeting me because he has nothing else to do, I don't want to force him into something. Do I forget him or keep meeting him until I know if this has a chance of happening? What if he just needs time to get to know me better before he expresses any interest?
The sooner you are clear about this and put it out there, the less complicated your situation will be. You have nothing to lose by being honest and asking him how he feels. You have more to lose by waiting for a sign or assuming he needs time to express interest. If he isn't bothered by your presence or absence, it is in your best interests to find that out now and avoid putting yourself through an avoidable period of uncertainty. Say how you feel, ask him what he expects, and make a decision based on his response.

My friends tell me that I am too controlling as a partner when they see me with my boyfriend. He doesn't seem to think so, but I also haven't asked him this because I am probably afraid of what he might say. I am bossy, but I also think I am fair in a relationship. How do I find out what I'm really like?
If you can't ask your boyfriend this question, your relationship isn't evolving the way it should. Feedback is important and necessary for change. If something bothers you, always talk about it.

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