Dr Love with Mid-Day: Sister’s husband controls her fully!

Illustration/Uday Mohite

My sister married a guy who has done everything he can to distance her from me. He is a controlling, possessive person and we barely speak anymore because of how much she has changed after marriage. I don't know if there's anything I can do about this because she doesn't seem to have a problem with this situation. I wish I could show her how bad it is and why it will not end well if she doesn't connect with family anymore, but she seems to be brainwashed by him and I feel helpless. How can I fix this and get close to her again?
You can't do anything to address this until your sister comes to some kind of realization about where things stand. Being married to someone possessive or particularly narcissistic isn't immediately obvious to the person who must bear the brunt of this. Marriage does bring about changes, and it's possible that it may be hard for her to look at this objectively and see why it's not a great thing to become isolated. All you can do is tell her how you feel and hope for the best. Sometimes, it takes a particular event or even just time to prompt a bit of soul-searching and that may not have happened to her yet. Keep lines of communication open, let her know that you value her and miss her presence, and hope that this changes. Speaking to her husband about this may only make things worse if he isn't the kind of person who wants his wife to have access to family and friends.

I have been chatting with a guy who is always happy to see me, but who never messages me. What do I read into this?
Why read something into this when you have the option of simply asking him how he feels? Also ask yourself how you feel about him and if you want him to feel something towards you. Not asking questions only leads to misunderstandings that are always avoidable.

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