Dr Love with Mid-Day: We’re finding it hard to live together

Illustration/Uday Mohite

A few months ago, my boyfriend and I moved in together. Since then, we have had our ups and downs, but also several challenges that have made me question this whole relationship. I know that the whole point of moving in was to try and see if we could live together, but the surprise has been how difficult it is. We are both reconsidering the possibility of a future together, which makes me sad because I never imagined getting to this point. Are we being too hasty or should we continue staying together for a longer period just to make sure we are making the right decision? We have been together for almost five years, and I don't know if I can even imagine living without him, but that's where we are because of how hard this whole experience has been. What do you suggest?
Moving in, like any part of a relationship, and at any stage, will bring its share of challenges. To assume there won't be any just because you have been together for a long time is unreasonable. If it's so hard that you are both prepared to walk away from this, you owe it to yourselves to have a long, hard chat about why this failed. Being in a long-term relationship requires work and commitment, and this is never easy at the best of times. Walking away may seem easier, but you have to keep in mind that you both built something over time and invested a lot of yourselves in this. If you both envisioned a future, ask yourselves if you have been honest about what that future looks like. Don't just list challenges or problems; talk about where they come from and how they align with your individual ideas about this relationship. If you can't imagine living without your partner, talk about what that means for him and how much you are both prepared to give up. Sometimes, you just need a reminder of what brought you together in the first place.

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