Everything is a crisis for him!

Illustration/Uday Mohite

My partner acts as if everything is a crisis, which leads to a lot of unnecessary angst. He is always anxious about everything, and if a plan changes, it becomes this huge problem that can't be resolved. I know he has anxiety and also feels the need to control everything, but it is getting in the way of our relationship because I am always nervous around him. I don't know if our relationship is viable if he can't address this issue. Does this mean I should abandon the idea of a long-term future together?
It can be a problem and there's no point sugarcoating it given that you are already starting to feel the strain. This isn't your partner's fault because he isn't choosing to be anxious, but the only way out is for him to recognise the harm it is causing you both and take concrete steps to address this. It may mean reaching out to a professional who may prescribe anxiety medication, or a mindfulness coach who can help him deal with his need for control. Either way, it can't be done by you because you may not have the coping mechanisms, and a long-term future can only be planned on the basis of how well you manage the present. Speak to him about your concerns, as well as your thoughts about the relationship, and ask how you can support him provided he is willing to do what it takes to make things easier.

I think I like a guy that my friend used to date and recently broke up with. What should I do about this?
Do you know anything about whether this person reciprocates your feelings? If you do, the best thing would be to confide in your friend and find out what he or she thinks. Transparency will always work in your favour because it will also avoid misunderstandings.

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