I can't wait for his divorce forever

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I have been dating a married man for six months now. This relationship began when mutual friends introduced us, and we started to communicate a lot. He told me his marriage wasn't working out, and I believed him because he was really unhappy. Since then, we have become very close and he is considering divorcing his wife and marrying me. Whenever I ask him for specific dates though, or more information on when he intends to do this, he becomes evasive. I am starting to feel as if he doesn't know what he wants yet. What should I do? I don't want to leave him because I genuinely love him a lot, but I can't wait forever either.
Adultery - for that is what this is - is complicated because it involves a tremendous amount of guilt and affects more than the lives of two people committing it. You knew his situation before you decided to get into it. What you decide to do next depends upon how much you respect yourself, as well as how much he respects you as well as his wife. This is always going to be messy, any way you look at it.

I have been supporting my boyfriend financially for over a year now. He doesn't get paid as much as I do, and has more expenses than I do, so he constantly borrows money from me. I didn't have a problem with this at the start, but am starting to feel as if he is taking advantage of me because he doesn't even make an attempt to get a better paying job.
Financial issues can derail any relationship if they aren't handled with sensitivity and honesty. Tell him how you feel and ask him to consider reducing his expenses or finding a way to deal with them on his own. If he refuses, you are being taken advantage of and should do what it takes to stop being exploited because this is money you have worked for.

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