I regret breaking up with her...

Illustration/Uday Mohite

This sounds like a philosophical question, but I wonder if I will ever love someone as much as I loved my ex-girlfriend. We were together for just about five years and ended it only because she didn't want to get married. She still doesn't believe in the institution, but I have never felt like myself since she walked out of my life. We are in touch, but don't communicate regularly or in the way we used to, and I know I may never get that feeling of intimacy with her again. I have dated a lot of women since we broke up almost a year ago, but none of them comes close to what I experienced with her. Maybe I am just not giving it enough time, but I don't know if I made the biggest mistake of my life by ending the relationship. Should I have chosen to stay in that situation knowing she would never agree to become my wife?
You made your decision based on what you believed and can't undo it just because you miss her. She agreed with you because she presumably saw no way out either. You are struggling with remorse but don't want to acknowledge that your relationship ended because neither of you thought it made sense to hold on. It's normal and natural to miss someone you have been close to, and it may take much longer to be able to move on. There is no way of fast-forwarding this grieving process and you will simply have to find a way of accepting it. Keep meeting new people, give yourself time, and internalise the fact that you will hurt for a while until you wake up one morning and find that the pain is just a little easier to bear. If that doesn't work, and you want to try again, nothing stops you from reaching out to your ex and having that conversation, provided she feels the same way and you are both committed to finding a compromise that works.

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