We’re both in love with the same guy

Illustration/Uday Mohite

My best friend and I have been in love with the same guy for a while now. We keep getting mixed signals from him because we can't tell if he likes both of us. He has made his interest very obvious, because we have known him for some time and keep meeting him at parties, but he also doesn't come out and specifically ask one of us out. He has flirted with her as well as with me, and we can't even tell if he does this with all women which would make this a warning for us and convince us to avoid him. He's a very nice guy, which is why we don't think of him as creepy in any way. How can we figure out if he likes one of us, and what do we do if he does?
The simplest way to do this is to ask him a direct question, obviously, and put yourselves out of your misery. It's important to have an honest conversation amongst yourselves first though, to consider all options. If he is simply flirting, this helps you both too, because it means you can move on with your lives. Either way, this doesn't have to be unnecessarily complicated. Tell him how you both feel, ask if he's interested, and put an end to all speculation. It's possible that he is simply shy or undecided, in which case, getting to know you both will also help him try and figure things out for himself.

What can I do to make my girlfriend love me more? She is very sweet, and she knows I love her, but she doesn't demonstrate it as much as I do. She is more reserved, and it makes me doubt her true feelings for me.
Not everyone uses the same language to express love. If this is part of her personality, you are asking her to do something she isn't comfortable with. If you have doubts, air them with her. Why simply assume she doesn't love you?

The inbox is now open to take your most carnal and amorous queries. Send your questions on email to lovedoc@mid-day.com