Am I wasting my time with this guy?
Introducing Dr Love, who solves your relationship riddles in a confusing digital age
I want to try and figure out if I am wasting my time with a guy I have known for a long time. We go on dates every other week and have a pleasant time, but I don't get the sense that this is someone I want a serious relationship with. He treats this casually and I'm not really sure if I am the only one he dates, because he laughs it off whenever I ask him. I don't know if we are in a relationship because it sometimes seems as if we are, and sometimes doesn't. We have had sex a few times, too, so I am very confused. What should I do?
If you don't know whether or not you are in a relationship, the easiest way of figuring it out is to ask. If you think he is dating other people, you are not in one. Dating someone casually and even having sex is fine if it's consensual, but you have to ask yourself a few tough questions about what you want out of this and whether he is someone you want to have a serious relationship with. If the two of you don't talk about this, neither of you will have a clue about what it means. And if he laughs off your questions, maybe you should think about whether this is something you really want.
I have been invited to a party by a girl who rejected me a few months ago. I don't know if this means she has changed her mind, but I am thinking of skipping the party because I don't want to make it seem as if I am at her beck and call. Is this a good idea?
That depends upon whether your ego is stronger than your feelings for her. Maybe she wants to be friends and may not have changed her mind at all. Either way, people are allowed to change their minds, aren't they? You won't know what she wants until you meet her.
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