How do I get my best friend back?

Dec 17, 2018, 06:00 IST | Dr Love

I had feelings for him and thought our relationship would evolve into something more serious, but I am no longer sure

How do I get my best friend back?

Dr. LoveMy best friend has changed over the past year or so. We have been close since we were in school, but college has turned him into a different person. We don't go to the same college, so I don't meet him daily. I had feelings for him and thought our relationship would evolve into something more serious, but I am no longer sure. It was his birthday a month ago, and I went all out to make sure he had a great day. I threw him a surprise party and got many of our other friends together to make sure he had a good time. It was my birthday this week, and all I got from him was a message on WhatsApp wishing me. I didn't say anything, but this has hurt me a lot. What should I do? How do I get things back to how they used to be?
It's difficult to expect people to stay the way they are because adulthood changes us all in some way. We aren't the people we used to be in school and, even though you probably think of yourself as the same person, chances are you have changed a lot in some ways too. Your friend is simply going through changes that are normal and may be coming to terms with a few things. How you see him isn't necessarily how he views your relationship with him. Feeling disappointed with his birthday greeting is understandable, because he really could have done a lot more considering what you did for him, but our expectations of other people will continually fail to be met, which is something you will simply have to get used to. Things may never be the same, but what you can do is try and meet him halfway, by acknowledging that things have changed and that your relationship will have to evolve in some way too. Meeting him more often may help, if only to gauge whether or not he thinks of you the same way.

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