My depression is killing relationships

Updated: May 27, 2020, 05:45 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

I always tell my boyfriends what the problem is, so they are aware that my behaviour is often determined by the medication I am on

Illustration/ Uday Mohite
Illustration/ Uday Mohite

picI have been in therapy for years now, since I graduated from college. I suffer from depression and this has affected my relationships with everyone I have dated. I always tell my boyfriends what the problem is, so they are aware that my behaviour is often determined by the medication I am on. None of them last long because they don't have the patience to be with me. I am beginning to think that I will never have a relationship with anyone because of my condition. Please help me.

Depression is a disease that can last a lifetime. Giving up on relationships because you believe you will never find someone who understands you is not a sensible approach though. You are basing your future on the kind of people you have been with in your past. Speak to your therapist about how you feel, talk about your fears, and try meeting as many people as you can. This is never going to be easy, because you know how your condition probably makes it easier to be more pessimistic than optimistic, but I believe you will find someone who can empathise with your condition. It is only a matter of time, so don't give up just yet.

My relationship with my ex ended after I found out he was cheating on me, but I still have feelings for him and miss what we had. Should I take him back?

That is your decision, but I suggest you take some time to evaluate what the pros and cons are. You may miss what you had, but you shouldn't let that diminish the impact of what he did. If you choose to forgive, you have to ask yourself how much you are willing to trust him again. You have to make a decision based on how much he respects you, because cheating shows a lack of love as well as respect. Always remember that it will always be difficult to fix a relationship where there has been an erosion of trust.

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