Here's why you must read Nazia Erum's book Mothering a Muslim

Nazia Erum author Mothering A Muslim PicVijay LaxmiIt took a Hindi essay on Gaay cow for 35yearold Mubashira Sheikh to realise that the school in Andheri West where her daughter was studying spelled trouble The teacher had dictated an essay that the students were expected to learn by rote for a test recalled Sheikh of the 2016 incident when her daughter was in Std III The Andheri resident who teaches mathematics and science at a school in Mumbai Central added When my daughter came home and showed me the essay I was shocked The last sentence of the piece read the cow is a sacred animal and is worshipped by all IndiansBeing an educationist Sheikh found the religious undertones of the essay problematic I decided to talk to the teacher But instead of hearing me out she yelled at me she said Not being one to give in so easily Sheikh told her daughter not to learn that line She agreed but lost a mark in that test The following year Sheikh admitted her child now in Std V into another school fully knowing that she had only found an easy route to circumvent the issue and not really solve itA new book titled Mothering a Muslim Juggernaut Books by Noidabased writer entrepreneur and TedX speaker Nazia Erum takes a deep dive into these everyday concerns plaguing parents of the Muslim community in India Her yearlong research which involved reaching out to 145 Muslim families across 12 cities mdash right from Delhi to the south in Bengaluru mdash left her overwhelmed I wasnt ready for the stories that were going to be shared with me confessed Erum 30 adding that the book was initially meant to be positive memoir of a modern Muslim mother raising a child in an otherwise tumultuous political environment after she delivered a baby girl in 2014 But I have cried while speaking to the parents and kids and I have cried while writing this book she saidZakia Soman womens rights activistAt the heart of Erums book is the discrimination and intolerance that surrounds the experience of being Muslim especially at the schoollevel where namecalling and bullying on religious lines have become commonplace Almost 80 per cent of the parents Erum spoke with admitted that their child had suffered from the growing antiMuslim wave in India mdash one that many believe has only peaked post the 2014 general electionsErums neighbour Arifa Beig for instance claimed that both her boys aged 16 and 12 had been called a Pakistani and terrorist And its so common she had told her Corporate worker Arshia Shahs daughter Azania Safiya Khan who studies at a prominent Delhi school had a more traumatic experience on the football field Get away from the ball you Paki a boy from the rival team had yelled out to her The little girl slipped fearfully out of the football field The boy was known to be aggressive and competitive But why had he called her a Paki She felt confused and didnt know who to talk to and chose to remain silent Erum writes in the bookThen theres the incident of sevenyearold Hassan from Bengaluru who excitedly rushed to his friends home for his birthday party only to be sent back home by the boys mother Hassan came back crestfallen He went to the balcony overlooking the neighbours where his friends had gathered They shouted asking Hassan why he had left the birthday party Hassan just stood there looking very sad he didnt have an answer writes Erum A few days later when the birthday boy was playing at their home Hassans mum decided to ask him what had happened He answered that his mother had instructed him to not invite Hassan as Woh log humse different hain hum unhe nahin invite kar sakte Those people are different and so we cannot invite themThough Erums research highlights the stark polarisation within schools in India especially in the regions of South Delhi Noida and Gurugram the experiences in the more cosmopolitan megalopolis of Mumbai are no different Citybased educationist Fr Francis Swamy principal of St Marys School ICSE and manager of St Xaviers High School told midday that stereotyping and bullying are rampant at several schools in the city While Swamy doesnt recall any such case being reported in his own schools he does believe that todays kids are most vulnerable to the hateinfused environment because of the constant bombarding of information from both print and visual media Global events post 911 have also led to the systematic demonisation of the Muslim community said Zakia Soman womens rights activistFreelance journalist and mother Nasrin ModakSiddiqi recalls how around two weeks ago when she took her kids to play at a park in Kurla she happened to eavesdrop on a conversation between two other mothers They were talking about Muslims and so naturally I got curious she said I dont exactly know what their grouse was but by the end of the chat I heard one of them say All these people should go back to Pakistan she added I felt the urge to confront them but my kids were with me and so I didnt think it was the right time to put up a fightNothing however comes close to the humiliation experienced by Mubeen Javed named changed on request at a reputed South Mumbai college around 12 years ago Javed 30 who is originally from Kashmir remembers being grilled by the viceprincipal of the college when he requested for a form so that he could apply for the Commerce degree course After she learnt where I hailed from she listed out a set of documents that I would need to procure if I was keen on applying Among other things she asked me to get a character certificate from two reputed citizens of Kashmir and a letter from the police stating that I had a clean record I didnt know how to react thenhellipI was all of 18 Javed said Even today some of his friends address him as terrorist They say it in jest and I take it sportingly but I can only imagine how a sensitive person would react he saidMP Qasmi director of Markazul Maarif which focuses on educational programmes for Muslims has had several parents relay haunting stories of their childrens plight in city schools He cautioned Such bullying will only lead to feelings of insecurity And insecurity breeds intolerance which in turn breeds injustice Injustice is the root cause of terrorism I worry for our childrens futureErums book also touches upon how the widespread notoriety surrounding the radical nature of the religion has pitted members of the community against each other Often Muslims dont mix with other Muslims she writes in the book The writer narrates the story of Dr Farrukh Waris who retired as the principal of the Burhani College of Arts and Commerce in Mumbai Her son Sadayaan 26 had gone to study at the Indian School of Business in Hyderabad and the whole family was elated When Sadayaan returned home after a few months for his holidays it was towards the end of Ramzan He told his mother that he had been fasting through the holy month Dr Waris was very surprised I said very good but who gives you sehri and iftari at ISB Sadayaan told her that there were six or seven other Muslim students at ISB and all of them were fasting So they made a group and each one brought one food item that they shared with the others Dr Waris recounts the sudden fear she felt as she heard her sons story I dont like this Please be afraid be very afraid Be frightened of others who are bringing so much of religion to an institution like ISB Have you checked on their backgrounds Erum writes Sadayaan laughed and reassured his mother that all the other mothers of the boys were saying the same thing to their sons Soman added that the attitude of religious leaders also doesnt help the situation If leaders are going to come out with patriarchal utterances on issues like triple talaq its definitely not going to help the community said the rights leaderWhile writing the book was an eyeopener Erum believes that the denial of the existence of the problem could prove to be a huge impediment in any future recourse She admitted that some Muslim parents she spoke with refused to even believe that bullying on religious lines was a possibility Her cousin in Faridabad for instance was appalled No way Things arent that bad yet she told her If we continue to deny the existence of this problem and continue to look away from it we are being very selfish said Erum Fr Swamy agrees Even educationists are refusing to admit that there is a problem he said At St Marys school we have been ensuring that the morning assemblies focus on all religions and not alone Christianity Over the last few years weve also been holding interreligious prayer services where were inviting leaders from different religions to speak on certain topics Until and unless we dont acknowledge the problem we wont be able to find constructive ways to deal with the issue he said Truth is that I still dont know what I will tell my threeyearold daughter when she comes home and says Mama why was I called a terrorist said Erum But these conversations need to begin because hate is in the airCatch 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