Rahul da Cunha: 'Webaqoof' and other big big words

May 06, 2018, 06:13 IST | Rahul da Cunha

I mean we know that 'webaqoof' means it's someone who has no clue how social media works. Most of you, my X-ennial readers, will identify with this malady What's an X-ennial, you ask?!

Illustration/Uday MohiteIllustration/Uday Mohite

Rahul da CunhaSo, dear reader, I don't know about you, but I'm a little confused about certain big words that fly around these days. I don't mean words like say, 'farrago' or 'webaqoof' or 'rodomontade' or 'snollygoster' that his eminence Shashi Tharoor has made famous. I mean we know that 'webaqoof' means — it's someone who has no clue how social media works.  Most of you, my X-ennial readers, will identify with this malady — What's an X-ennial, you ask?! Nahin nahin, it not a prequel to the X-men series or the next instalment of 'Avengers Infinity Wars' (that's subject for another column).
Anyway, to get back to the subject at hand — big words. Do you know, for example, what 'Debdumbfoolery' or 'Biplabpolarism' mean — it's the art of talking utter nonsense, making outrageous statements with shameless ignorance and confidence on a public platform.

Like, say, I said something really foolish like, "Modern day internet existed during the times of the Mahabharata" or "Narad Muni was like Google" or, something even more preposterous, like "Darwin's theory was scientifically wrong and shouldn't be a part of college curriculum". You get it, dear reader. This is also called 'Satyapalfootinmunh'.

So it's like — "Hey, that Jigesh thinks no end of himself, always giving these biplabtripupistic fundas."

What else? Let's look at some other big words that made me reach for the thesaurus. How about 'Pappupasshogayalitis' — this tongue twister is the art of dynastic entitlement, when the entitled has no clue what he's doing or saying. So let's say two employees are b***hing about a third, "Really pissed off with my job. Can't get a promotion, that Akash is the boss's son, real pappupasshogaya dufus, but, kya karega, baap ka raj na!"
Dear reader, there's 'Rayaduplessis' — any idea what this means? Okay, it means, 'you finally do well at something in a particular position and a South African annoyingly takes your place to fulfill a quota.

Okay, here's another killer — 'Trumpjong-un' — cool, huh? So any guesses? Okay, it has multiple meanings —

1. An ancient Oriental board game
2. When two mentally unstable people meet and each one
cannot believe they've met their match
3. An American Nuclear Bomb made in North Korea
How about this one — Cosbynski. I'll give you a hint — it has to do with 'molestation' — okay, I won't give it away — email me your answers and you get a free Woody Allen movie DVD as a prize.
And finally there's 'Indranirritatausaurus' — so I'll let you decide what this word means.
Choose between —
1. A member of the pre-historic animal family
2. An issue that annoyingly goes on and on well past its interest value date
3. A story with more deceit,
betrayal and murder than all the seasons of Game of Thrones (GoT) put together
This word is also referred to as 'boradom'.
I'm off, dear reader, see you 'Banuvasarahdimanche'. Huh? What does that mean? It's so simple.
It's a word coined by Messrs Modi and Macron.

Rahul da Cunha is an adman, theatre director/playwright, photographer and traveller. Reach him at rahuldacunha62@gmail.com

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