Should I tell my friend I fancy him?

Updated: Jun 23, 2020, 07:34 IST | DR Love | Mumbai

My boyfriend has a list of things he expects from me, and I find it ridiculous because I think a relationship should have no expectations.

Illustration/Uday Mohite
Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dr LoveMy friend and I speak about dating a lot, but I honestly don't know how he feels about me. I don't know if he is giving me hints about wanting to be with me or is just discussing this in a general way. It's confusing because we have been friends for a very long time, and I genuinely like him. I also don't think being in a relationship with him is a bad idea, but I don't want to come right out and ask him directly because that may lead to some unpleasantness if I am misreading this. What should I do?
Why assume there will be unpleasantness when this is someone you claim to have been friends with for a long time? Isn't the whole point of friendship that you can have a conversation about anything and be honest with that person? If you can't read his mind or the signals you think he is giving you, won't it be easier to ask him what he wants? Won't this help you avoid any unpleasant or awkward situation rather than misinterpreting what he is saying or expecting him to say something he has no intention of? You always have the option of simply waiting until he makes himself clear, provided you are prepared to deal with this state of confusion until then.

Is it wrong to ask your partner for specific things when you are in a relationship with them? My boyfriend has a list of things he expects from me, and I find it ridiculous because I think a relationship should have no expectations. Am I right or he right?
Neither of you are wrong, although the notion of expectations, likes and dislikes ought to be worked at slowly for a relationship to evolve. If he is treating you as a shopping list with items that need to be ticked off, that will never work. I suggest you ask him where these expectations come from, why he has them, and why he decided to be with you.

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