On his birthday today, Harman Baweja talks about his past, present and future
Do you blame Priyanka for you both drifting apart?
No. I blame myself. She kept asking me to give her time but I didn't. I couldn't. After two flops, I felt a lot of pressure to do well in my third film. I got too engrossed in it. I got too close to the project. Too involved. In fact, Ashu Sir (Ashutosh Gowariker) used to tell me, 'we are not used to people getting into our space. We don't let any actor do that.' But I crossed all boundaries. I was involved at every stage, every level. What's Your Raashee was very important to me.
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Yes, I am happy that Ashu Sir was not disappointed after signing me, the critics gave me appreciation too. I wish the film had been successful as well. Right now I would take a hit over anything else, even praise.
So ultimately your relationship got sacrificed at the altar of success. A lot of people felt that Priyanka broke it off after Victory bombed. Have you ever believed that?
No. I have never believed that. And only two people know what went wrong between them. And I don't think success of failure changes anything friendship of relationship.
It is generally believed that in your head you are a superstar. Has that changed?
(Laughs out loud) I would have to be put in an asylum if I still believed that after three releases. But yes, I know people believed that of me.
And with good reason?
Maybe so. Maybe my attitude was wrong. (Thinks) I was new to the industry. I was told to behave in a certain way by people who have been here longer, and that's what I did.
You mean Priyanka?
(Smiles) No. But there are a lot of people who tell you what to say, what to do, how to behave. And because you are new, and you want to make a good impression, you try and be something. After a point, I realised that I just had to be myself, because I was not comfortable being something or someone else. What you see now, is the real me.
You recently went upto Shahid Kapoor and talked to him at a party. That's a sign of maturity. Ho much did that have to do with knowing that he and PC are no longer together.
No. (shifts uncomfortably) I just felt like talking to him. And he was equally warm. I have to say that it was not weird at all because of the way he was when I talked to him. I have known Shahid. When he was with Bebo, we often went on double dates. And he is a really nice guy.u00a0
You never watched Kaminey?
I couldn't bring myself to see it.
Because it's on the set of this film that it all started?
Hmm... I just didn't want to see the film. I thought I would be okay, but as the day kept coming nearer, it was all around and therefore, harder to bear. I just booked tickets and left the country. I have three friends from different parts of the world. We all met in Sicily and had a blast.u00a0 And by the time I came back, I was ready for anything.u00a0
Isn't it true that you were at a party and someone played Dhan Te Nan, and your friends rushed over and had the DJ change the song?
(Grins) Yes, my friends did that. It was hard for me to even hear the songs of that film.
So... ready to see it now?
No. I don't think I will ever see it. I still haven't watched Aitraaz.
Must've been difficult to shoot WYR? with Priyanka?
Yes, it was. There was a lot of awkwardness. It was hard to see her talk on the phone and text. I knew what was happening.
One time, you broke down on the set one time, and Sunita (Gowariker) asked you to go home, right?
(Hesitantly) It was right in the beginning. We were all having lunch and she got up and left saying she wanted to rest in the van, and just before she left, I got a message saying that she will now make an excuse and leave. At that moment, it became real for me. Sunita saw how disturbed I was, and she just said: Leave. And I left without saying a word to anyone. I even left my phone sitting there on the table.u00a0
How did she break the news to you?
She hasn't told me yet. She doesn't accept it. She will never be able to tell me. Even when she is sixty.
Will it be awkward if you have to work with her again?
No, I don't think so. We are both professional and nothing can come in the way of that.
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