Dud teri ki

Ram Gopal Varma's Aag
Ram Gopal Varma Ki Aag was a lost cause from the day it was announced. But it's in my list for a very pertinent reason here's a director who proved that he could make even the mightiest actor in Bollywood the butt of all jokes. RGV Ki Aag will go down in history as the second-most awkward point in Amitabh Bachchan's career (Boom is on top remember the "lamba-chhota" double-meaning dialogues he mouthed?). Amitabh said somewhere that he always wanted to play Gabbar so Ramu gave him the opportunity. And instead of the original's tobacco-chewing trait, he asked Bachchan to do some twirling and swirling of the tongue. I heard the Censors gave it an A-certification only for that. Oh yes, RGV wanted Sholay's 70mm quotient too so he added the gigantic Mohan Lal in the cast. How we wish he'd also added subtitles for all his dialogues at least we would've known why this Inspector Narsimha has such an accent.



Sanjay Leela Bhansali's Saawariya
A director can generate any amount of hype and positioning to build his brand value. But yeh public sab jaanti hai and some day, he'll be brought down from his feeble pedestal. Sanjay Leela Bhansali's downward journey began with Black but the audience was manipulated into heaping praises on the film. Critics loved it and it became fashionable to call it a contemporary classic. Personally speaking, Black was a pretentious move by the director. Classics can't be created; they happen. Bhansali tried to 'make' a classic. The director's perspective overshadowed the subject and that's hara-kiri. The correction was waiting to happen because Bhansali was bound to get carried away in his self-obsession. The Black fatigue was so overwhelming that when Saawariya came around, nobody wanted to give Bhansali a second chance. That explains why the film ended up being a subject of ridicule. It was the audience's way of telling Bhansali, "We overlooked your narcissism once; not any more."



Rakeysh Omprakash Mehra's Delhi 6
When I went to see Rang De Basanti, it was with much hesitation. Manoj Bajpai's takiya kalam from the director's earlier film Aks kept ringing in my ears "Na koi marta hai, na koi maarta hai... yeh main nahin kehta, tumhare geeta mein likha hain." But Mehra surprised everyone with one of the most powerful films of the decade. Whether it was Aamir Khan's contribution to the film or Mehra had indeed evolved as a maker, we didn't know until we saw his next, Delhi 6. Hmmmu2026 now what do we say about a film that's most remembered for its flirtatious pigeon? From a story about a young man returning to his roots, it slowly transgressed to a biopic on the infamous Monkey Man. Either Mehra, at some point in his life, had some serious issues with this 'Maakad Manav' or he was simply missing his Aks days.



Vishal Bhardwaj's Kaminey
This is a true story. The audience in a theater in Jammu was so angry and frustrated after watching Kaminey that they broke the seats. I felt like doing the same. Kaminey is a classic case of the critics going horribly wrong in judging a film. Vishal Bhardwaj has always been strong on content but Kaminey was all about contempt (for the audience). Hazy camerawork, blurred visuals, illogical settings and a climax that was almost on par with Anil Sharma's Hukumat u2013 this is India's Tarantino? With Kaminey, it was a repeat of the Black syndrome if you said you didn't like it, you were the odd one out. Like a well-known filmmaker told me, "I've heard that if you understand it, you'll like it." Excuse me we're talking about a film, not brain surgery. But you certainly needed one after watching Kaminey. Well, admit it, at least now!

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