‘Pati Patni Aur Panga’ contestant Avika Gor reflects on her unconventional courtship with Milind Chandwani
Avika Gor and Milind Chandwani
No relationship is perfect, and it’s okay to be messy and chaotic — as long as there is love. That’s what the Balika Vadhu and Sasural Simar Ka actor Avika Gor and Milind Chandwani have learnt from their experience on the reality show Pati Patni Aur Panga. While Gor initially hesitated to open up on camera, Chandwani embraced the chance to try something new. Set to tie the knot soon, the couple, in conversation with mid-day, talks about love, pet peeves, reality TV, and what they’ve taken away from the show.
Excerpts from the interview.
Who went down on one knee and proposed?
Avika: Our story is rather funny. Within a week of knowing him, I was sure of him, which might seem rather weird to a lot of people, but I was sure of where my life was heading. He friend-zoned me for six months.
Milind: I wasn’t looking for something temporary or short-term. I think anything long-term deserves its own time for exploration — understanding each other, what works and what doesn’t. That’s why I told her to be friends for six months. She was helping me with my social work at that time as my NGO was scaling from three cities to 10, and Avika was monumental in that direction. It was also a way to get to know each other better. It’s been six years now, and it’s pretty permanent.
You’ve been guarded about your personal life. So what made you agree to do a reality show?
A: I’m still thinking about it because I have never agreed to appear on any reality show — I don’t like too much of my personal life going out into the public domain. I’ve been quite image-conscious. It’s something I’m still working on and learning. I still have walls up when there are cameras around, but I don’t want to disappoint people. I think I’ll be a little more diplomatic, which is something I’ve been trained to be since I was young. But seeing Milind go all out and have that conviction in our relationship and in us as individuals — that’s reaffirming. He doesn’t see flaws as flaws. He feels reality is something that will attract people to know us better and love us more. His perception is slowly changing mine. I was worried about how much they would show and what would happen. Every time I was approached for Bigg Boss, I avoided it because it meant too much information going out. But seeing him, I felt maybe it’s a fear I need to conquer. Over time, I’m learning to be real with the audience. People are curious to know who the real Avika is — this is my opportunity to connect with them.
How are you more convinced than she is about doing a reality show, considering you’ve never been in the media glare?
M: I think my conviction comes from the fact that I know Avika. I feel her personality off camera is even more phenomenal. I always tell her, ‘I wish the world got to know the real Avika’. She is so much more than all her characters put together. As for me, I’m just too quirky, I like trying new things. I say yes to anything and everything that life throws my way. So, when Pati Patni Aur Panga came to us, I felt that if Avika was okay doing it, I’d be open to it. I feel the audience, who already love her, will love her even more — and maybe love this damad a little too in the process.
Do you feel if there is drama, it would be blown out of proportion on a reality show?
A: I feel I can trust the channel because I have worked with them for so long. They always respect my decision when I refuse to be part of Bigg Boss. They treat me as their own, so I have a sense of comfort with them. I feel safe with them. I feel it is a lovely bias that they treat me like their daughter.
Now that you’ve shot for a few episodes, how does it feel?
A: I wasn’t expecting to have so much fun with everyone. I’m learning a lot about marriage on this show. Every couple is either married or has been with each other for decades, so I get to learn from their experiences.
M: What I’m enjoying on the show is the unfiltered chemistry between the couples. That’s what I’m taking away from it. It’s a powerful show — it proves that relationships don’t have to be perfect. They can be messy, chaotic, full of nok-jhoks. I’m realising that nothing needs to be perfect as long as you can bear each other and want to wake up next to the person you love.
Two things you love about each other?
M: I love how kind she is — my students, NGO, and family have all witnessed it. Whenever she gets an opportunity and doesn’t pursue it, she makes sure to extend it to someone she knows would be perfect for it. That’s my favourite quality about her. I love how innocently smart she is. She has a sharp brain, it shows in how she processes information, communicates, and engages in conversation. I may be academically smart on paper, but we balance each other perfectly on the show.
A: It’s his habit to acknowledge the best parts of everything and everyone. He’s positive and has a way of seeing that in others, too. Secondly, he says yes to every new experience, no matter what the situation is.
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