Why couples break up ...some after 40 years

Former US vice president Al Gore and wife Mary Elizabeth Tipper's break up after 40 years, has left everyone asking, 'why, after all these years?'

The 40-year itch: Al Gore and Tipper

It's the one nation that the rest of the world associates with divorce and flippant break-ups. And yet, when last week former US vice president Al Gore (62) split from his wife Tipper (61) after 40 years of marriage, media reports claimed America's faith in love had been shaken. The news wasn't free of bizarre details, like how the couple had purchased a mansion worth $9 million close to Oprah Winfrey's in California, just weeks before the split.
While there is currently no news of an affair behind the souring of the four decade-long relationship, observers claim it won't be long before skeletons start to tumble out of the closet. In fact, most of America is hoping they do, since it's far tougher to see a couple unwilling to blame each other, drift apart 'just like that'.

Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt
Hollywood stars
Were: Married
Split after: 4 years

They met and hit it off on a blind date. It was amid serious public thrill that two of Hollywood's most famous, gorgeous and successful names got married. The split gave the press enough fodder to last a year. "Fears, doubts and insecurities" had apparently crept into the relationship that ended in 2005. Brad Pitt is now married to actress Angelina Jolie with whom he shares six kids.

Prince Charles and Diana
Prince of Wales
Were: Married
Estranged after: 15 years

The fairytale wedding watched by millions around the world came to a disappointing end after a 15-year-long turbulent marriage. The stories surrounding the break-up of the royal couple include Charles' continuing liaison with current partner Camilla Parker Bowles, and Diana's inability to succumb to the stringent royal norms imposed on her. Diana died in a car crash in Paris on August 31, 1997.

Boris Becker and Barbara Feltus
Tennis player actress
Were: Married
Split after: 7 years
This was a defeat that even this three-time Wimbledon champion took long to recover from. Splitting from his wife just weeks before their seventh wedding anniversary, the German tennis star had to give up custody of his two kids and shell out 14 million pounds as settlement. Since the couple had no pre-nuptial agreement, the kids and his multi-million-pound fortune ended up as the centrepiece of a bitter legal fight.There was speculation that he was having an affair with rap singer Sabrina Setlur. Other reports suggested she wanted him to move to the US, while he wanted to stay back in Germany.

Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman
Hollywood stars
Were: Married
Split after: 10 years

This high profile and highly successful pair of actors ended their marriage after 10 years, and two children. Signing the final papers, they parted ways after a warm embrace and have never been seen together again. That the couple couldn't have kids of their own, and his obsession with Scientology is said to have weakened the relationship. Tom is now married to actress Katie Holmes and has a daughter from her. Nicole married musician Keith Urban the same year.

Nicolas Sarkozy and Cecilia
French president
Were: Married
Split after: 16 years
The Sarkozys' marriage was often a subject of conjecture in the French press. In 2005, the couple separated formally and Nicolas became the first French president to divorce while in office. Cecilia married multi-millionaire Richard Attias seven weeks after Nicolas married Italian supermodel and singer Carla Bruni.

John McEnroe and Tatum O'Neal
Tennis star
Were: Married
Split after: 18 years
The tennis champion married Tatum O'Neal, a child acting star in 1986, and had three children with her. Issues of sexual manipulation and drug addiction cropped up, leading to a public divorce. McEnroe went on to marry musician Patty Smith a few years later.u00a0

Sanjay Dutt and Rhea Pillai
Bollywood actor ex-model, Art of Living instructor
Were: Married
Split after: 7.5 years
They went through the acid test during Sanjay's imprisonment and court trials while they were courting but the relationship crumbled once they got hitched. The press, who never got enough of the actor's tumultuous life, was rife with rumours about his roving eye. He is now married to Maanyata, while she is in a relationship with tennis player Leander Paes.

Aamir Khan and Reena Dutta
Bollywood actor homemaker
Were: Married
Split after: 15 years
News of this estrangement rocked Bollywood since the two were seen as a mature couple in a rock-solid relationship. December 2002 saw this idolised chocolate-boy actor and girl-next-door file for divorce. The couple has two kids. Aamir married filmmaker Kiran Rao three years later. The couple continues to maintain a cordial relationship, with Reena dropping in for Aamir's premieres, the latest being 3 Idiots.

Aditi Govitrikar and Muffazal Lakdawala
Model-actress doctor
Were: Married
Split after: 9 years
This emerald-eyed model and gynaecologist was dating her charming doctor beau for well over seven years before they got married. It was Muffazal's decision to file for divorce, it's believed. With two children and a rocky marriage, Aditi has been going through a rough patch.

Lara Dutta and Kelly Dorji
Bollywood actress actor and model
Were: In a live-in relationship
Split after: 9 years
What seemed like a rock-steady relationship that was sure to turn into wedded bliss turned into a rocky one that involved one of Bollywood's hottest actresses. Talks of Lara's proximity with her co-stars and her sudden rise to fame after she bagged a couple of big budget films, is said to have weighed down on Kelly who wasn't doing fabulously in his career.

Mahesh Bhupathi and Shwetha Jaishankar
Tennis player model
Were: Married
Split after: 12 years
His is the demeanour of a silent fighter, hers of the sophisticated dusky Indian beauty. All that didn't make a great game as this couple couldn't retain their title. Separated through a "difficult" divorce, the two are now said to share a cordial relationship. Mahesh has moved on and is now dating actress Lara Dutta.

In the mind of the couple

'After so many years, it seems like too much effort to even try and establish a newer, mature connect'

People who have lived together for long often end up taking each other for granted. It's clich ufffdd but human. They are habituated to having each other in their lives, and somewhere down the line they stop connecting, sometimes without even realising it.
After so many years, it seems like too much effort to even try and establish a newer, mature connect. They then look for options outside the relationship rather than take charge of what they share.
Modern couples today enjoy financial and social freedom, and that is making it easier for couples to split. The word 'compatibility' is used very loosely these days. One needs to understand whether it implies being able to be okay and enjoy someone's company for an hour at a coffee shop or being comfortable sharing an entire lifetime with them.

'After years of being together, you have the maturity to be honest and move on from an empty relationship'

Find me a couple that hasn't gone through a period of immaturity in their relationship? But some are unwilling to accept this phase. They buckle under social pressure, face the fear of letting their families down. So, the marriage goes on, for decades. Sometimes, you reach a point, say eight to 10 years into the relationship, when financial independence gives you some strength to be a bit more assertive. You've seen more of the world, and have the maturity to be honest and move on from an empty relationship.