For the last three years, I have been married to a man I don't love.
Diana will solve it!
Write to Diana at diana@mid-day.com, or fax her on 24150009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012
Dear Diana,
For the last three years, I have been married to a man I don't love. In fact, he's the kind of man I could never grow to love. Not only was this marriage one of desperation (I am 36 years old now), he also doesn't let me do things the way I'd like to, for the very simple reason that he doesn't want me to. I find it impossible to argue with him, as he never hears out what I have to say. He can be extremely intolerant if I do something; he hasn't permitted me to do. Help me; I'm married to a despot!
Maria
Dear Maria,
If you do intend to leave this guy because you can't see yourself falling in love with him EVER, you might as well chalk about your plan-of-action for the days, weeks and months following your divorce from the guy. If you're okay with continuing to be with him, you need to realise that neither he nor you will ever change, that this has been nothing more than a marriage of compromise, that you're going to have to put up with him for as long as you two are together. it's a good thing that you don't have children as yet, as this would be difficult for them. Besides, why did you say yes in the first place? It's not like the options completely dried out. There would definitely have been lesser options, but what sense does it make being stuck with the guy for three years without joy, hope or any chance of seeing your lot improve? Compel him to hear what you have to say. Don't end up being a doormat because you made one wrong decision.
They keep saying NO!
Dear Diana,
We've been together four years. But when he recently spoke to his dad about us, his dad bluntly said no. No-one from his side is supporting us. The situation is just going out of our hands. He is still trying his best to convince his parents but says his chances are very slim. Breaking off a relationshp after four long years would be difficult. Also, his parents are quite orthodox.
Samiya
Dear Samiya,
Why wait long for such a commitment? One would haveassumed he had already spoken tou00a0 his parents or that they were already aware of his relationship. It made absolutely no sense to go around with a guy who kept you hidden from his family. You belong to the same religionand caste, so that can't be the problem. Why won't they accept you as you are?
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