Main kya karoon, my marriage is in dull-drums

Dear Diana,
I have been married for six years now. My husband comes to bed around 4 am instead of spending time with me.
u00a0
I often tell him to come home on time, but he does it for two days, then it is back to the same old routine.

The only time we are intimate is when he wants to be and that is probably once or twice a month. I have told him that we've become a dull couple but it doesn't bother him.



We need to spiceu00a0 up our marriage. We don't do anything exciting in our marriage or the bedroom and I am bored.

This has been going on for more than two years and I've came to the point that I'm not happy in this marriage. He is only into his work. I know he loves me but I can't say I feel the same way. Please tell me what to do

Neeti
Dear Neeti,
Sit him down and tell him it is serious. Try not to sound angry or accusing. Just tell himu00a0 what you are thinking and what you are feeling.

Make sureu00a0you highlight the possible outcome if things don't change. I'm not saying that he's to blame even though it may seem that way. The fact is that it has gone on this long without any improvement, so you are both to blame.
u00a0
Be honest and let him know exactly how you feel. That's the best you can do. He needs to know that if he doesn't take steps to improve your lifestyle then you are not willing to put up with this anymore.
u00a0
Work cannot be a priority when the wife is feeling neglected. If his marriage is important to him, then things will change. Otherwise you know what to do.

I want to be first in the boyfriend race

Dear Diana,
I am an 18-year-old girl and I have really nice friends but I am very quiet. I have always been and I am worried that most of them will get boyfriends before I will because they are more confident. What should I do?

Neelam
Dear Neelam,
You shouldn't get one just because your girlfriends might get theirs. You should date someone only if you are interested in him, and he is interested in you.

Don't get a boyfriend because you think he will make you happy, or to fit in, or to make yourself look good/cool in front of others.

We broke up, but I want him back

Dear Diana,
My boyfriend and I were together for two years. We broke up three weeks back because we were bickering too much. He wanted the break up more than I did, so I guess you could say he broke up with me. I am heartbroken.

I'm keeping busy by going to work, spending time with friends and meeting new people but I feel really alone sometimes.

I love him and want him back.. We have not talked since the break-up and I wish I could do something.
u00a0
My friends say I should wait for him to contact me and in the meantime move on. That's what I have been doing but I still just want him. What should I do?

Priscilla
Dear Priscilla,
Your friends are right.u00a0 You cannot make someone be with you. If he wants to get back together with you, than he will come to you.

But then again he might not know that you still have these feelings for him. My suggestion isu00a0 to send him a casual text message, asking how he is doing.

This way you won't come across as 'needy' or anything. It's just a general question that anyone would ask a friend.

Keep your conversation at the friendship level. If he replies, take it forward from there. If he doesn't reply, then just leave it at that and move on.
u00a0
Breakups are tough, and you broke up for a reason that a lot of people seem to never really want to work through. It's a good thing you are coping well.