Mujhe shaadi karni hai. Gharwaale maante nahin!

Dear Diana,
I'm 25. I come from a middle class family. I have an elder brother who got married last year. I feel that I should get married now. I told my parents to look for a suitable match for me. They said that I would have to wait for another two years. They are not even ready to get me engaged.

The reason for my frustration is, I have never been in love or had an affair with anyone. I have grown up with a feeling of loneliness. My friends, too, have shifted to different places for their jobs. I feel really lonely, and my parents are not ready to understand this. I need a friend or a partner. Please help.

Name withheld
Dear Friend,
Okay, so you feel you are ready for marriage. But your family doesn't agree, they want you to wait. Have you tried talking to them and asking them why? Is there a space problem in your house? Maybe one or two years later, someone might move out?

Or is there a financial problem? Or does your family simply feel that you need to establish yourself career-wise before you get married? There has to be a reason. You sit them down and ask them, listen to their reasoning and tell them the reasons why you want to get married. Frankly, if you feel you are ready, then you should get married.

But finding the right girl may be problem if you are in a hurry. Even if your family finds you a match I suggest you go out with her a few times, talk to her and find out if the two of you are compatible. Getting married is a big decision, not something that you should rush into. Also your reason for getting married worry me. You want to get married because you have no friends.

But in an arranged marriage, how do you know you will find a girl who can be your friend? And marriage is not the magic answer to loneliness. Don't get into a marriage with unreal expectations. Couples who go for arranged marriages have the added task of getting to know each other and adjusting and with each other's quirks. So don't make matters tougher because of unreal expectations. Keep it simple. All the best.

She left me because of my drinking habit...

Dear Diana,
I am 27 and in love with a girl who is 24. Our relationship had been very good for last one year. But due to my drinking habit, I have lost her. She tried a lot to stop my drinking habit, but couldn't. When I drink, I become very abusive. I have also been to the rehabilitation centres but in vain. I need help.

Rishi
Dear Rishi,
If you really work at it, you can kick your drinking problem. Hardcore alcoholics have in the past, kicked the habit. You just have to work hard at it.

Not just for your girlfriend, but because this is one habit that will affect every aspect of your life, work, home, friends.
u00a0
Ask a good doctor to recommend a way to overcome your addiction. Support of friends and family is important, too.

I'm divorced without kids & I love a young man

Dear Diana,
I am now 37. I was married when I was 27. My marriage lasted only for two years. I do not have any children. Now I have once again fallen in love with a guy who is 31. His parents know about my marriage, my separation and my age. He is my neighbour.

What if his parents do not agree to our marriage? And what if he later on ditches me? Should I have complete faith in him and proceed, as there is a wide difference between our ages? Can I have children now at this age? What should I do?