She wanted to break up, and then she didn't...

Dear Diana,

I love my girlfriend, but we have become distant of late. We are in a long-distance relationship. Last week, she mentioned that we should take a break from each other. Since then, I have been thinking about what we share. At first, I was upset that she wanted a break.

Then she told me she did not want to take a break anymore as she had thought about it and felt that she has fallen in love with me all over again. But I had been thinking about actually breaking up with her.
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I'm pretty sure I want to end things now. I have moved on and just don't see her as I used to see her. I want to be single for a while and enjoy life. How should I go about breaking up with my girlfriend?

Punit



Dear Punit,

Just be straight with her. And after that, don't keep any contact with her at all. If you don't do that, you will be locked in a cycle of guilt and will end up feeling sorry for her. You should end the relationship properly and in the process, win her respect.
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If both of you are meant to be together, you will find a way to be so and wild horses won't keep you apart. So let her know you are finishing it and getting on with your life. See how your life feels without her in it. Hope this helps.

He talks about a future, and I am scared....

Dear Diana,

Whenever my boyfriend talks about our future, I get scared. It is great that he's picturing his future with me in it, but what if we aren't together for that long? I don't want him to get his hopes up. Am I taking it too seriously?

Natasha

Dear Natasha,

Think about why it scares you. Is it because you don't really see a future with him, or you are just in it for the moment and having fun? If it is the first, then let him go and save both of your selves future pain. If it is the latter, then ask him to slow down and take the pressure off.

I lied about my age, now I am engaged to her...

Dear Diana,

I am engaged to a wonderful 23-year old girl. I was married once before and have two young daughters from that marriage who she has become very close to. Well, the thing is, when we'd met I told her I was 28 years old when I am actually 29. I got so used to doing this that I actually started believing "the lie" myself.

I have procrastinated about rectifying this. She thinks I am turning 30 this month when in fact I am turning 31. I am ashamed of this and my conscience is killing me. But I am afraid that it will ruin things between us. I know that I have to tell her, but I am scared to death. Please help

Jaymin

Dear Jaymin,

Okay, so in all fairness it's only one year not five that you've lied to her about, so that's a good thing. You have to tell her soon because she is bound to come across something like a driving licence with your date of birth on it, and then it will be too late for you to tell her the "real story."

Explain to her your reasons for lying and how it is killing you that you haven't come clean sooner. I think she will appreciate you going to her with the story, rather than her finding out about it.

I am sure she will understand it's a mistake and you didn't know how to get out of it once you realised what you had done. Don't beat yourself up about this. Just make sure she sees how much agony it is causing you and you will be home free.