During 1986-92, I was in Mumbai teaching in a college in Worli. I had a student whom I loved her dearly.
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Dear Diana,
During 1986-92, I was in Mumbai teaching in a college in Worli. I had a student whom I loved her dearly. Due to various personal problems, I never told her about my love. She knew directly or indirectly, that I liked her. Most students in her class knew it too, I think. She graduated and left school in 1990. In 1992, I migrated to the USA and now am married and have two kids. I still cannot get her out of my mind, though. In fact, I think about her almost every day. I get crazy thoughts about her and imagine what could have been if I proposed to her and/or married her. By the way, I do not speak Marathi and she was a Marathi- speaking person. For sure, I can tell you one thing: she was a very orthodox person.u00a0 The thing she did not know was that I loved her due to this very orthodox nature. I want to know a way to permanently remove her image from my memory. Am I crazy to remember her even after almost two decades? Do you think it is possible I can ever forget her?
Tapan
Dear Tapan,
Seventeen years on, I doubt her conservative outlook on life might have changed very much. Back then and even more so now, romantic student-teacher relationships are frowned upon.You would indeed do well to forget about her completely as she might not even remember you now after all these years. It makes no sense to ponder over and get miserable about a future together that could have been. The one way to try to erase her memories from your mind is to overwrite it with even more powerful lasting memories spent in the company of your family. In any case, unrequitted love that stayed hidden for this long, could only be done away with, if you find closure, by meeting her once, telling her discreetly about your feelings, that you understand that it's way too late to say these things but that you had to get it out of your system as soon as possible. Talk about her to someone rather than suffering alone in the knowledge that it is a secret you might have to carry to your grave. Believe me, secrets are the worst burdens to bear.
Why read too much into it?
Dear Diana,
We were very good family friends. My wife and the other were couple very close to each other as a family. We never had any kind of misunderstandings between us for three years now. Lately in one of the parties, his wife got drunk and rested her hands on me. I never took it the wrong way as we are very good friends, but later my wife told me to keep my distance from her because her husband did not like her behaviour. It came as a shock to me. I did what my wife said and did not keep in touch with them at all. Lately, she told my wife that it was a misunderstanding between her husband and her and that he had no problem, she told my wife that she just assumed that he was upset and wants me to be the same person that I once was. Please tell me what to do?
Anonymous
Dear Friend,
If there was never anything to read into, why read too much into it in the first place? Why make an ssumption that there was a problem when in the first place, there was none? And of course, it was she who was drunk. You never took advantage of the situation and her husband could well have handled her then and there rather than get insecure and make a fuss over something that coould have entirely been avoided. You being an 'obedient husband' did what your wife said, so it would be best to keep out of trouble, but it seems now that the friendship you guys once shared, is already showing rifts.
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