A new survey indicates a substantial disconnect for most people and that most people don't even realise how strong their connection with each other is until they properly explore their feelings about their relationship
Image for representational purpose only. Photo Courtesy: File pic
The concept of love in modern India has changed significantly from the way it was perceived by previous generations; in the past, the longevity and social acceptance of a couple's union determined whether or not they would be viewed as a successful marriage or partnership. Today, in addition to being long-term and socially acceptable, a person's happiness, emotional fulfilment, and mutual development have begun to take precedence over the couple's time spent together.
However, behind all the happy-looking pictures found on social media posts and family memos, many couples seem to be together, but in reality, there may not be a genuine connection between them. The results from a survey conducted by Gleeden and IPSOS with over 1500 respondents from Tier 1 and Tier 2 cities indicate that a wide array of needs and expectations must be met for a couple to be able to feel fulfilled in their relationship.
The findings indicate a substantial disconnect for most people and that most people don't even realise how strong their connection with each other is until they properly explore their feelings about their relationship.
Sybil Shiddell, country manager, Gleeden India, states that "The changing nature of relationships is exhibiting a major shift. People are now focusing more on emotional fulfilment than on commitment and are seeking deep, lasting connections instead of the convenience of the moment. As this survey illustrates, emotional fulfilment has eclipsed commitment as a major element of a successful Indian relationship. Furthermore, as more people understand that love can only grow through consistent communication and mutual respect, they are less likely to stay in unfulfilling and stagnant relationships."
Feel it, don’t just say it: The emotional gap
Many believe emotional connection is the "invisible glue" that binds all love and other intimate relationships together. Still, many couples, even those that are both committed to each other, now share the same physical space without an emotional relationship — thus creating an environment of lonely silence. This emotional disconnect is most likely to be seen in smaller cities, like Tier-2 in India, where societal values often discourage open emotional expression.
Overall, the survey found that 51 per cent of participants reported that they experienced unfulfilled feelings of emotional connection within their relationship, increasing to 55 per cent in Tier-2 cities compared to 46 per cent for Tier-1 cities. Therefore, it appears that the emotional neglect of partners may be a larger contributing factor to relationship problems than conflict between partners.
Touch me, but also talk to me: The intimacy debate
While it is generally thought that emotional intimacy will lead to physical intimacy for many partners, physical intimacy decreases with time due to routine, stress, and communication breakdowns. In more conservative social settings, such as Tier-2 cities, many partners are embarrassed to discuss the topic of sexual intimacy; therefore, the divide may be increased even more. The survey found that 38 per cent of participants across all Tier-1 and -2 cities felt that sexual intimacy was missing from their relationship, with Tier-1 city respondents reporting 34 per cent missing it, and Tier-2 reporting 41 per cent. Therefore, intimacy is not merely something that is physical; it is directly related to emotional comfort and trust.
Same love, no thrill: The boredom factor
Long-term relationships typically fall into predictable patterns where romance gives way to routine and passion is replaced by practicality. Although stability in long-term relationships is desired, many individuals, especially those in Tier-1 cities, feel they are losing the excitement and thrill they originally shared in their long-term relationship. The survey concluded that at least 42 per cent of respondents feel that they lack excitement or thrill in their long-term relationship. This shows that emotional monotony in long-term relationships is a universal issue that occurs across all Tier-1 and Tier-2 cities.
We live together, but don’t really talk: Communication crisis
Communication is a vital component in a strong relationship; however, most people who are in a couple relationship don't communicate on anything other than a logistical basis (scheduling, finances) or based on obligations to their family (child care). Over time, the inability to communicate on a meaningful level creates an emotional gap between the couple; even in the best of relationships. Survey results when broken down show this trend; a high percentage of people about 44 per cent indicated that they wish they had better communication skills to improve their relationship experience. This gap exists in both Tier 1 and Tier 2 cities.
While many couples have expressed their dissatisfaction with the amount of communication in their relationship, the survey also demonstrated that many couples are content with the level of communication between them. Approximately a quarter of all respondents (25 per cent) expressed total satisfaction with their relationship, and this percentage has remained consistent in all areas studied.
The Gleeden - IPSOS survey offers a snapshot of the changing face of romantic relationships in contemporary India. It indicates that romance is no longer simply about staying together; rather, it is about continuing to grow together. For many Indians, this process has just begun.
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