Women across Mumbai are constantly in search of spaces where they can just be
The Ma Hajiani Dargah in Worli is an oasis of calm, a beautiful sanctuary for women of all faiths and ages. Pic/Fiona Fernandez
Ladies dabba. Those two words were my initiation into the world of the women's compartment on a local train. As an unsuspecting, 'kachcha' commuter, fresh out of school, that universe was an entirely new experience. Soon, other words entered the glossary: fourth seat, down-up, window seat, and the mother of them all, the heavyweight phrase, thoda sarak. A mishmash of Hindi and Marathi, it was a suggestion to the fellow commuter to make space on a seat in a second class compartment that could ideally accommodate four. It was likely to be a squashed up quartet for all occupants, but nevertheless, it was the most crucial, unsaid rule on the local. If you dared fail to oblige, there would be hell to pay, during rush hour in particular. Over time, that frame came to be an endearing, lasting one for me, of how women in Bombay somehow manage to find their space in this alternative universe of train birthday bashes, saree days and space (and motion) defying garba dances, without a care about everything around them.
Cut to another frame. It's nearing sunset on a Sunday evening. You'd expect an endless crowd of large groups and families spilling into the place of worship to pay their respects at the dargah. And, lots of noise, too. But, that wasn't to be. Instead, a steady trickle of women, children in tow, silently glide through the open courtyard and make their way to the main sanctum sanctorum to pray, offer namaz at the Ma Hajiani Dargah in Worli.
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The dargah is popular among women who come by to offer mannat for a happy marriage or to bear children. It's an oasis of calm in contrast to the Haji Ali shrine that faces it, we discovered, as we spent over an hour inside its serene environs, soaking in this revelatory vignette of a beautiful sanctuary for women of all faiths and ages to just be — it could mean praying to the Almighty, watching the setting sun against the gorgeous gilded waters of the Arabian Sea, reading a couplet from a holy verse or just chit-chatting with friends.
Space will always be a constant headache for Bombay's women, which is why both the examples attempt to reflect their constant trials to seek it out and revel in it.
That girl who trudged all the way from Mira Road to find her peace as she shut her eyes to recite from the Holy Quran or the band of banker women who broke into a jig to "Chhaiyya chhaiyya" on the 9.45 am slow, both types are in their own way, claiming a bit of the city as their own despite the lack of
elbow room.
Every day is Women's Day in Bombay. Activist and leader Kavita Krishnan who spoke to this newspaper recently while she was in town, put things in perspective from an out of
towner's view.
A Delhi girl who joined college in Bombay, she said that the city's women had claimed spaces by stepping out to work and use local trains and buses, thus becoming visible across the city and its suburbs long before women from the other metros did so, making young collegians like her feel safe to move around.
May Bombay never lose this badge, thanks to its wonder women. Salute!
mid-day's Features Editor Fiona Fernandez relishes the city's sights, sounds, smells and stones...wherever the ink and the inclination takes her. She tweets @bombayana
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