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Home > News > Opinion News > Article > Unlike most men we share our vulnerabilities

‘Unlike most men, we share our vulnerabilities’

Updated on: 16 October,2022 07:20 AM IST  |  Mumbai
Meher Marfatia |

International award-winners both, cancer surgeon Vinay Deshmane and sailing company proprietor Shakeel Kudrolli have a great buddy bond

‘Unlike most men, we share our vulnerabilities’

Shakeel Kudrolli and Vinay Deshmane: at home for Sunday breakfast and in the Aquasail office near the Gateway before a morning at sea. Pics/Ashish Raje

Meher MarfatiaDr Vinay Deshmane, 61, Breast surgical oncologist


Shakeel Kudrolli, 62, Founder and MD, Aquasail


Offering hope to thousands of patients, breast surgeon Vinay Deshmane is among the country’s first to set up specialised services dedicated to treatment of breast diseases at a private institute—the PD Hinduja Hospital in the city, which he began developing in 1999. After the FRCS (Glasgow) and MD degree from the University of London for research on DNA methylation, he pioneered the use of breast endoscopy. He is Medical Director of the Indian Cancer Society, editor of the Indian Journal of Cancer, and trustee in-charge of the Mumbai Cancer Registry, India’s oldest population-based cancer registry programme. 


Corporate lawyer turned star yachtsman Shakeel Kudrolli gave up a thriving legal practice to make a profession of his passion for sailing. Representing the country in the sport, he has the distinction of winning India’s first-ever gold medal in international waters at the Asian Championships in China in 1989, as well as two silver medals at the Enterprise World Championships in Lake Kariba, Zimbabwe in 1993 and Durban, South Africa in 1995. Besides acing competitive sailing, he was the national junior coach for 10 years, with the team he trained winning India the first junior gold medal in 1981 in Bombay.

Gruelling work hours notwithstanding, the two friends spend quality time together. 

Shakeel Kudrolli and Vinay Deshmane: at home for Sunday breakfast and in the Aquasail office near the Gateway before a morning at sea. Pics/Ashish Raje

Shakeel Kudrolli: You could say we recognised “the good sport” in each other. I met Vinay on joining St Xavier’s Academy in Std XI. As part of its cricket team, we participated in the Harris Shield tournament. Though in the same class, I went on long leave to practise and prepare for the junior sailing world championships, in which I represented the country. So, we didn’t spend much time together, except during cricket matches.
 
Sailing from the age of 11 with the Sea Cadet Corps—a voluntary youth organisation that uses the medium of the sea to instil character development and a sense of adventure among the young—I took to it literally like a fish to water. It clearly was my calling. 

Vinay Deshmane: Born in Pune, I was brought up completely in Mumbai. In Dunnes School earlier, Shakeel had been a well-known table tennis player. I too represented school in table tennis, but was not that good. At St Xavier’s Academy, it was cricket that made us friends. I was an opening/1 down batsman and he a medium pace bowler—I still vividly remember Shakeel’s looping run up. After school, our paths diverged. I went to Grant Medical College, where I continued playing cricket through my MBBS studies and captained the college team.

SK: Along our own ways, Vinay pursued medicine abroad while I was deeply involved in sports and law. Graduating from Government Law College, I practised at the Bombay High Court for over 20 years and specialised in IP (intellectual property) law. 

I set up Aquasail in 2007 to promote leisure and corporate sailing. Over the last 15 years, nearly 1,20,000 lakh sailing enthusiasts have been introduced to sailing in India. Customised leadership programmes and organised events like regattas offer sailing and life lessons.
   
VD: Drawn to oncology as my mother unfortunately was diagnosed with cancer in my final year of general surgery residency, I went to sub-specialise in breast surgical oncology at the Sir Hedley Atkins Breast Unit in Guy’s Hospital, London—among the first in the world devoted to studying breast diseases, established back in 1936. Then I did research in molecular biology (on DNA methylation in breast cancer and its relationship to the timing of surgery during the menstrual cycle) with the Imperial Cancer Research Fund (ICRF) laboratory at the Richard Dimbleby Department of Cancer Research at St Thomas’ Hospital. Incidentally, the ICRF director, Sir Paul Nurse, received the 2001 Nobel Prize. 

SK: We reconnected by chance, when I went with my wife Zia and her trekking gang to Gokul. Back from the UK, Vinay had come with his brother for this. That unexpected meeting rekindled our friendship. Staying in the same Colaba compound for quite a few years, we began spending a lot of time together. Our wives also get on well. Vinay’s wife Avi became our family doctor too.

VD: Our worlds are quite separate—his, a start-up and mine a highly specialised medical field. Interestingly, Shakeel is a proper lawyer even on the personal front—if he doesn’t agree with your point of view, he won’t try changing it. He can be more stubborn than me. Quietly assertive, he appears cooperative. Shakeel shows perseverance in adversity, is focused and analytical, with a capacity for tremendous hard work, has widely varied interests and an ability to see good in others and encourage their achievements. He was instrumental in booking me first lessons at the Yacht Club, after which there was Aquasail, of course.

SK: We are close enough today to understand all the happy and sad moments in each other’s lives. Unlike most men, we have a history of sharing our innermost issues and vulnerabilities. When I was changing my career path so drastically, we’d chat at length about switching lanes, the ideas and plans I had 
for sailing. 

VD: We would discuss corporate deals he was anxious about. But it has never been only work-related. Even at our most tired or upset, we’re able to talk things out—if not as they happen, then on weekends. We meet at short notice and never feel disconnected for a long time. I’m very much at home at his place, just as Shakeel is at ours. I recall his mother as a gentle soul who would kindly send over some great food like her biryani.     
Shakeel is a non-demanding, highly intelligent, extremely reliable and straightforward friend. In simple terms, a nice person to know and be with. Friendships from relatively early days don’t change. They mature  in different ways. This city provides opportunities to come across people from diverse backgrounds, with whom we can often find a common binding thread.

Author-publisher Meher Marfatia writes monthly on city friendships. You can reach her at meher.marfatia@mid-day.com/www.meher marfatia.com

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