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Growing up between worlds: This book uniquely explores identity and belonging

Third-culture kid Kritika Arya—who has lived and grown up across India, the UAE and UK—explores questions of identity and belonging in this excerpt from her book of illustrated autobiographical essays

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This artwork, titled Not Enough, captures the anxieties of an Indian university student navigating her first year and a shared kitchen in the UK. Unable to cook or proudly embrace her culture, she grapples with a sense of inadequacy and lack of identity. Illustration/Hanifa A Hameed

This artwork, titled Not Enough, captures the anxieties of an Indian university student navigating her first year and a shared kitchen in the UK. Unable to cook or proudly embrace her culture, she grapples with a sense of inadequacy and lack of identity. Illustration/Hanifa A Hameed

In 2010, I turned 19 and I knew it was time to leave Dubai and settle abroad. Going to the UK was potentially the beginning of my “forever” story. Who knows, in ten years, I could even have a different passport; the possibilities were endless. Unfortunately for me, there were rumblings that the Tory government would be revoking the post-study work visa for international students fairly soon. Even though I was disheartened, I wasn’t that worried because I had three years. Three full years, to convince this place and everyone in it that I “deserved” to stay here after graduation. How difficult could it be? 

I was so desperate to find a new home and to fit in, that I was willing to reinvent myself. That’s what university is for, right? Leave behind the “old” you? Normally, this kind of identity crisis is a process of forgetting. People tend to forget who they are and where they came from. The problem with me was that I don’t think I ever had an answer to either question to begin with. As a teenager, it’s normal to still be figuring things out, but I began with such low self-confidence that it almost ran that process into the ground. 

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