Why is dating so difficult for single Jewish people in India

Single Mumbaikars work hard to find love They visit local watering holes often size up every new person entering their social circle and spend weekends lining up Tinder Hinge and Bumble dates Now imagine these options not existing and that you have to choose your life partner from a pool of 4000 throughout the countrymdashmaybe even lessldquoThis is the story of most single Jewish people in Indiardquo Meir Killekar 28 who belongs to the Bene Israel community tells usIn India the Bene Israel Jews are more in number when compared to their counterparts the Baghdadi and Sephardic Jews ldquoAnd yet itrsquos difficult very difficultrdquo adds Killekar whose attempts to find a Jewish girl from his community have almost come to naughtMoshe Shek and Sifra Lentin historian and researcherIndia has been a safe haven for Jews whorsquove fled persecution from Iraq and the continent of Europe since as early as 11th century the Baghdadi Jews who arrived in the 18th and 19th centuries were part of the last wave of migration into the country According to the 2011 census there were 5000 Jews across India The numbers have shrunk significantly in the last decade As a child Killekar remembers having many playmates from his community ldquoI grew up surrounded by friends and families from within the Jewish community but most of them migrated in the last 10 to 15 yearsrdquo Many have move to Israel Canada the UK and the US ldquoThese countries have a sizeable Jewish population so the chances of meeting someone from our community are higher thererdquoKillekar too has been toying with the idea of settling in Israel He even did an MBA in marketing at the Reichmann University in Herzliya which is a short drive from Israelrsquos capital city Jerusalem ldquoBut I do not want that finding a partner to be the reason for the shift I will go there if I get an opportunity that improves my liferdquo says Killekar who wants to marry a person with a ldquoclean heart and good soulrdquoChef and restaurateur Moshe Shek a Baghdadi Jew says there are only ldquo10 of usrdquo left in India ldquoWe are almost nonexistentrdquo he clarifies Shekrsquos mother was Jewish while his father was a Muslim who converted into the faith when he got married ldquoI am 55 and yet to find a Jewish girlrdquo he says Shek moved to London in the 1990s and from there to Tel Aviv intent on living the Jewish life in its purest form ldquoIt was easier logistically as you do not have to work on Shabbatmdashthe holy day from Friday sunset to Saturday sunsetmdashand can follow kosher dietary restrictions when it comes to eating meatrdquo he says He even dated women in Israel but nothing worked outAfter living in Israel from 1997 to 2001 Shek returned to Mumbai ldquobecause personally I felt more Jewish hererdquo ldquoItrsquos hard to explain but itrsquos a myth that just because you might move to any country you will find what you wantrdquoSifra Lentin is a historian of Jewish community The Mumbaibased author and Bombay History Fellow at Gateway House Indian Council on Global Relations a foreign policy think tank in Mumbai is no stranger to the current scenario of the diaspora The Magen Hassidim Synagogue in Agripada is a reflection of the changing times ldquoIt is true that the families that I grew up with do not come to the synagogue anymore People have dispersed for better jobs and opportunitiesrdquoAccording to her people are also now seeking partners outside the community ldquoIn the 1980s marrying someone who wasnrsquot Jewish was strongly discouraged but that is no longer the case as partners are not availablerdquo she says ldquoBut I think that unlike the Parsis who are dwindling in numbers the Indian Jewish community seems to be just growing elsewhere so the numbers are not reducing itrsquos just that there are fewer of them here in IndiardquoJews however she says will never sever their relationship with India ldquoThere is a saying in the Jewish community thatmdashIndia is my Motherland but Israel is my Fatherland So there might be migration from India to other countries but we see a lot of Bene Israeli people come to visit their family in India during the DecemberJanuary holidays They go and visit the synagogues of their families all along the Konkan beltrdquo she says ldquoThose ties will continuerdquo