He is great only when he is drunk

I met my current boyfriend at a party a few months ago, and we began dating a week after that evening. We hit it off immediately, and it just felt right. Things began to change very soon though, because I realised he was just a different person in social gathering where alcohol was involved. When there wasn’t any alcohol and we were on our own, he was moody and non-communicative. I have tried to make this work in all kinds of ways but have come to the conclusion that he just cannot be a friendly person if he isn’t drinking. This is worrying because it has implications for his health as well as any relationship he chooses to be in. I don’t think this will work between us, but I want to make him understand that he is going to be alone if he doesn’t make some serious lifestyle changes soon. Will staying with him help him, or am I being a bad person to let him go because of this habit?
You are doing what is right for you, which is the right thing to do in a relationship where one partner isn’t as fully committed to making things work. Alcoholism needs treatment from a professional, because it isn’t simply a matter of stopping. If he has underlying emotional needs that need to be addressed, you may not be able to do much. He has to first acknowledge that there is a problem, and it doesn’t seem as if he is there yet. You can choose to stay if you believe it will help, but there will be limits to how much you are prepared to put up with, especially if he doesn’t do anything to try and fix this. I suggest you ask him if he is prepared to speak to a counsellor. If he isn’t going to, there is not much your presence or absence can accomplish. This may be a life lesson he will have to learn on his own, in his own time.

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