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He wants a divorce, but...

Updated on: 04 April,2023 06:56 AM IST  |  Mumbai
Dr Love | mailbag@mid-day.com

I think he wants a divorce but is afraid of what his family will say

He wants a divorce, but...

Illustration/Uday Mohite

My husband and I separated for a year and thought about whether we wanted to stay married. We were married for five years before this separation and there were numerous problems that we couldn’t address. We have no children so the separation was not hard, and we got back together after telling ourselves we wanted to make this work. It has been four months since we reunited and I am seriously considering making our separation permanent because I realise I was happier without him. He feels the same way, so we are not sure why we are trying to save this relationship. It could be pressure from our families, but I don’t think that is a strong reason to put ourselves through this. I think he wants a divorce but is afraid of what his family will say. How do I convince him that this is in our interests and better for our peace of mind?
Families may always exert pressure but they aren’t the ones who have to live in this relationship, and the only two people who should have a say are you and your husband. If he isn’t ready to admit to something he feels deeply, consider speaking to a marriage counsellor together, and allow him to look at this from a neutral perspective. If this isn’t working out, the sooner you both arrive at a decision, the easier it will be to move on with your lives and find some measure of happiness.

I want to tell this girl at my office that I have a crush on her, but I know she is in a relationship and am afraid that she may be offended. At the same time, if I don’t say this, I will probably regret it later. What should I do?
What exactly do you hope to accomplish? Try and examine your motives, and why you expect to feel regret by not speaking to her. Do you know her well enough? Why not try and be a friend before saying anything?


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