Is it normal for a partner to constantly check on who I am chatting with, or what messages I am sending to friends or family? My boyfriend says it’s harmless, but I find it intrusive, and he doesn’t seem to get the notion of personal space or boundaries. We have been together for two years now, and the amount of information he has about my personal life only increases because he says we shouldn’t have secrets from each other. It’s not as if I don’t trust him, and he always tells me anything about his life if I ask him, but I feel as if he is more comfortable with this arrangement than I am, and I don’t know how to change it. What should I tell him?
You should tell him how you feel and insist that he respect the boundaries you set, because although you are in a relationship and are functioning as a single unit, you are also an individual first and are perfectly entitled to your personal space. He may feel differently about this and may have a different level of comfort when it comes to sharing aspects of his personal life, but for him to expect you to adhere to the same norms isn’t fair or respectful. If he wants this relationship to evolve, you should both be okay with arriving at a space where you are equally comfortable. To not be able to have that discussion is a red flag, because it signifies a refusal to engage as equals.

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost six months, but I now feel as if he has begun to distance himself from me. I don’t know if he doesn’t like some aspect of my personality that he didn’t know about before, but I am constantly trying to guess what’s on his mind. How do I fix this?
If you have a question, ask. If he refuses to give you a satisfactory response, point out that making you guess is passive aggressive.