Should I assume our friendship is over permanently or is there anything I can do to resolve this situation?
Illustration/Uday Mohite
I was in a relationship with a close friend that didn’t work out. We knew it was a risk but wanted to try being together anyway. We also spoke of this not ruining our friendship in any way if we broke up but are struggling to get back our friendship now. He and I don’t chat the way we used to and there is a definite distance that has been created which makes us both sad but which we are unable to fix. It has been almost six months since our relationship ended and I can’t see a way of getting my friend back. Should I assume our friendship is over permanently or is there anything I can do to resolve this situation?
You can both acknowledge that what you have been through was a painful experience, as the end of any relationship often is. You are both aware of what you have lost but should give yourselves time to process what happened before you come around to recognising what is truly important. If you are both committed to saving your friendship, it will get to a better place when there is enough distance between the end of your relationship and an understanding of how you see each other and recognise the importance of each other in your lives. I suggest you let things stay the way they are, and keep lines of communication open, trusting that your friend and you will both be able to find your way back to that friendship in time. As long as you don’t cut each other out, there is always hope.
There is a girl I am madly in love with, but she is very pretty, and I don’t think she would go out with someone as plain looking as myself. Should I even bother telling her how I feel?
You do her a disservice by assuming what she will or won’t do, and it is also insulting to assume that she is a shallow person for whom looks alone matter.
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