On paper, healthy relationships involve two people who treat each other as equals. Real life, as we all know, tends to be a little more messy
Illustration/Uday Mohite
I am a married man and have been increasingly infatuated with my neighbour ever since her husband passed away a year or so ago. My wife and I have been together for almost ten years, and there is no spark or happiness in our marriage. My neighbour is the same age as we are, and I have seen her look at me a few times. I have no idea if she likes me, and I also don’t know if my wife is as dissatisfied as I am. What I know is that I don’t want to live the rest of my life with regrets. We have no children and I really have no real reason to stay in this marriage. If I find love outside it, shouldn’t I take it? Don’t I owe it to myself?
It may make sense to try and find answers to the questions you have already posed before making any decision. Speaking to your wife is the most important thing because you owe it to each other. If you can’t be honest about how you both feel after the years you have given each other, this isn’t a good sign. You absolutely owe it to yourself to find love and not live with regrets, but it doesn’t make sense to try and open any new chapter with anyone until you resolve or close the one you are in. It’s possible that your neighbour has no interest in you whatsoever, and this infatuation may lead to regret of another kind in the future. Speak to your wife first, ask her if she is interested in changing things, be honest about what you want or expect, and then come up with a decision that makes sense to you both. Looking for love outside can always wait until then.
Do normal relationships always have one dominant and one submissive partner?
On paper, healthy relationships involve two people who treat each other as equals. Real life, as we all know, tends to be a little more messy.
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